play the game
by Jlyne21
Summary: Edward is a player and Bella tease but what happens when they find love when their trying so hard to stay away from it all human ooc now betaed by everclever
1. chapter 1

**Ok guys i have a beta now so this chapter has now been edited and i want to say thank you to everclever for her work **

**BPOV **

I woke up to the alarm clock going off. God I hate the first day of school after summer, it drags on forever. Today is going to be worst since last night I spent it with all of my friends getting drunk. I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't help it. I needed to forget about everything. This time of year has always been bad for me so I try to forget about it every chance I can. Don't get me wrong, I love my life now, wouldn't change it for anything. I've always been the wild child that likes to party and have a good time. My father could never handle me, which is kind of funny since he's the police chief of Forks. At least with him working all the time, I'm free to do what I want without him jumping my case.

As I make my way to my bathroom I stumble a few time. _Damn I still have a buzz._ I only got about three hours of sleep so hopefully a nice hot shower will help with not only the buzz, but also with my eyes since I know they are blood shot. Looking in the mirror only proves that I look like crap. Turning the water on I strip down and step into the hot water running over my tired body. _Man that_ _feels so good._ I stay in until the water starts turning cold. I get out, wrap a towel around me, and go find some clothes. I find my most comfortable, yet sexy pair of Paris blues destroyed jeans, and a baby blue lace camisole. I grab a blue and white striped hoodie to go over the camisole, and pair everything with my favorite adidas campus shoes. I brushed my hair into a high ponytail, brush my teeth, put on just a little eyeliner, mascara, and I'm out the door.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see my best friend's red jeep sitting in the driveway, which is shocking since he's been out of school for a year. Walking over to him I try to figure out why he's there. _Did something happen to one of our friends? Did he forget today was the first day of school? _"Hey Bells," I was pulled out of my thoughts with the sound of his voice.

"Hey Emmett what's up?" I asked, still not sure why he was there.

"Jump in, I'll drive you to school today. I'm sure you're still hung over from last night," he said as his booming laugh filled the air. I didn't even realize that I had a headache until my head started pounding.

"God Em, Where is your volume button?" was all I said as I slid my juicy sunglasses on, lit a cigarette, and jumped into the jeep. Once again his laugh boomed around the jeep.

"Here I'm sure you need these for your head," he told me as he threw a packet of Tylenol at me. They fell to the floor and I quickly picked them up to throw them in my mouth and swallow hoping they would work

"So Em what did I do to be blessed with your presence this morning?" I wasn't complaining, but I knew he liked to sleep until noon after a night of parting like the rest of us, but he was the only one able to sleep in this morning even though the rest of us had to get up. "Well one of my old buddies is starting today so I figured I'd give him the low down of the school so hopefully he can stay out of trouble this time around." I knew by the look in his eyes that he wasn't telling me everything, but this morning I was too hung over to push it so I let it go.

As we pulled into in parking lot I noticed a sliver Volvo sitting there. I had never seen it before and I wondered whom it could belong to. Just then Emmett yelled

"Hey ass what are you doing?" I looked around to see who he was yelling at when I noticed him. He was about 6' with bed head bronze hair, Emerald green eyes, pale skin, a body that was built just right, a smile that could dazzle any girl, and that bad boy look. He had on a pair of jeans slung low on his hips, black and white striped shirt, and dc shoes. _Damn he looked good_. He was walking over to the jeep then I heard that velvet voice,

"Who are you calling an ass, fucker?" My jaw dropped for a moment because no one had the balls to speak to Emmett like that, everyone was scared of him. Emmett was 6'2 with medium brown hair that had a slight curl to it, but that's not why they are scared of him. He's big and muscular, played football all throughout school so they think he'll break you in two. Only his close friends knew he was a big teddy bear on the inside.

"Yeah, yeah, I see you made it. That's shocking since it's the first day, don't you normally skip?" It was then that I realized this must be the friend Em was talking about.

"I heard there was some sexy ass girl here so I figured I'd check it out," his velvet voice said while winking at me.

I hit Em on the arm. "Well thanks for the ride but I'm out." I went to jump out but he caught me by the arm

"Not so fast there, this is Edward Masen." Edward nodded at me

"Yeah and your point would be?" I said smiling then jumped out the jeep.

I could hear Edward saying 'I was a bitch' and Emmett's booming laugh, but that's ok cause I could be a bitch plus I wanted him to see that a least one girl wouldn't throw herself at him. I walked up to the table that Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie where sitting at to let Rosalie know that Emmett was in the parking lot. She ran off not wanting to miss him. They've been together for four years since her freshmen year. Rosalie was model-like, 5'9 blonde wavy hair to the middle of her back, bight blue eyes, and a body that went on forever.

Alice and Jasper where making plans for the night. I can't remember a time when they weren't together, but they were a funny couple to see together, Alice was 5'1 with black spiky hair, hazel eyes, she reminds me of a pixie. Then you have Jasper who is 6'1, honey blonde hair, blue eyes, he's muscular, but lean all around great looking. They are all cute together but I like being on my own. Don't get me wrong it's weird sometimes being around couples. I feel like the odd man— or should I say woman— out but that's ok because I don't need a boyfriend to get my needs fulfilled. Just then I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I knew it had to be Jacob.

"Hey sexy. I'm surprised to see you here," I laughed shaking my head. We all had a long night, but only Jake and Alice could be happy this early.

"Oh you know, Charlie would have my ass if I skipped." Jacob knew how my dad was since we grew up together.

"Well we couldn't have that, now can we?"

We were best friends that got together to have some fun whenever needed, but its nice we're not really in a relationship, even though everyone thinks we are. It makes most guys leave me alone. The only thing that they don't realize is if you were to ask me I would have to describe it as an open relationship. We are both free to do whatever or whoever we want, but still able to talk to each other about anything. It's a 'no strings attached' type of relationship with us. Just someone to talk to if need be, but also sleep with.

He sat down next to me with an arm around my shoulder since that creep, Mike Newton, was walking over. We both knew that he was going to ask me out once again, no matter how many times I say no, he still asks. Thankfully the bell rang just before he got to the table. I've never been so happy to go to class. Thankfully I had English first.

**EPOV**

I woke up this morning, tired from all the moving I guess. I should have just stayed out of trouble back in Chicago then we wouldn't be here in this little ass town. At least I know someone in this God forsaken town that will help me get through. Emmett told me there was some fine ass girls here as long as I stayed away from his Rosalie. So I got my ass out of bed, looked in the mirror, my hair was messy like always and I knew it was pointless to even try to do anything with it. I pulled on my union bay jeans, South Pole shirt, and dc shoes. I walked out the door and jumped in my Volvo. Starting it, I tore out the driveway to get to school. I parked checking out the school. It was small compared to what I was used to, but hopefully I'll get my shit straight. Stepping out of the car, I noticed Emmett pulling up with some girl. I figured it was Rosalie, but wasn't sure.

Just then I heard, "Hey ass what are you doing?" I couldn't help but laugh. He told me I had to be here for the first day, so being a smartass I said,

"Who you calling an ass, fucker?" I noticed while I walked up the girl he had looked shocked that I said it, which was funny. I love to shock and awe people. After I looked at her I knew it couldn't be his girl. He said she was a blonde and this girl had dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, fair skin, and full lips. I had to say she was sexy in tattered jeans, and a blue and white hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah, I see you made it. That's shocking since it's the first day, don't you normally skip?" He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I heard there was some sexy ass girl here so I figured I'd check it out." I said while winking, hoping she'd get the point. But all she said was,

"Well thanks for the ride but I'm out," trying to jump out the jeep without even looking at me. I couldn't believe it! It was like she didn't even care that I was there, but before she could get out Emmett grabbed her.

"Not so fast there, this is Edward Masen." I nodded at her about to say hey, but before I could I heard,

"Yeah and your point would be?" and saw her jump out of the jeep.

I've never in my life had someone not care who I was. "God, who the hell was that and is she always such a bitch?" I asked Emmett.

I couldn't believe it, but he was laughing about me calling his friend a bitch. Then he pulled himself together to say, "That, my friend, is Bella Swan, and yes she can be a bitch. She's proud of it. She would probably have some smartass comment if she heard you say that and I hope you don't think that one there will be as easy as all the other girls here. She's just as good as you at playing the game, so beware."

I must have looked as shocked because Emmett laughed all over again. I've never found anyone that I couldn't charm easily. Just then a blonde walked up before I was able to ask anymore. She kissed Em so I figured it was his girlfriend and I had to say he had good taste. He kissed her back then said he had to go and I was off to class. As I walked down the hall, I saw most of the girls looking at me, and I knew this town would be fun.

As I got to class I was too busy thinking about how I could get Bella because the chase would be fun, plus I wanted to prove Emmett wrong. I could already tell that the rest of the girls would be easy just by the way they were checking me out. I will have my fun with them, don't get me wrong, playing the field is what I do best so why not keep it up, right? Just then a girl that was cute sat in the seat in front of me.

She turned around smiled and said "My names Lauren you must be new here".

"Yeah today is my first day. I'm Edward." she had blonde hair and green eyes and a slender body so I figured I'd have some fun with her.

"So what do people in this town do for fun? 'Cause to me it looks like there's nothing." I asked with my panty-dropping smile.

"Well most people party, but a few of us try not to get into trouble all the time, and just hang out." _Oh, an uptight girl. This is going to be fun._ Just then two more girls walked up to her. "Hey Jessica, Hey Tanya," she said as she turned back around. They said hey back and took the seats on either side of her. Jessica had brown hair and blue eyes. She looked like she would be the wilder one of the bunch. Tanya had strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes.

Well I guess Em was right, there were some good looking girls in this town. I wouldn't say sexy but still good enough to have some fun with.

I saw Tanya looking at me out the corner of my eye, so once again, I put that dazzling smile on my face, leaned towards her, and said "Hey I'm Edward." She giggled a little, blushed, then said

"I'm Tanya." She seemed so shy but the look in her eyes told me different so I knew I could get her to fall for me easily. Leaning back in the chair I winked at her, she blushed once again; I knew I had her hooked, line and sinker.

Just then the door opened and I saw Bella walk in like she owned the place and from the look on most the guys faces, they wanted her, and most of the girl glared at her. I guess this is going to be harder then I thought. The guy she was with looked like he must be her boyfriend. He had his arm wrapped around her waist and she was leaning into him. Right behind her was a pixie looking girl. I took a good look at him and he saw that he was just as tall as me with long black hair in a slick ponytail at the base of his neck. He had brown eyes, very tan skin, and he was just as big as Emmett, but he had a bit of a baby face. He walked to the seat behind me and sat down with Bella on his right and the pixie on his left.

Then the pixie girl leaned forward in her chair looked me up and down then said "Hey I'm Alice. Haven't seen you before." I laughed. I felt like the new shiny toy for them.

I still said, "Yeah I'm new, I'm Edward."

"You know, Edward, you look like you would fit into our little group. You should sit with us at lunch." Alice said bouncing in her seat. I turned to see Bella giving Alice a dirty look. I'm not really sure what that was about so I brushed it off. She really cannot like me, she doesn't even know me, but if I have anything to do about it, I'd know what made her tick.

I then turned back to Alice and said, "I might have to take you up on that offer," which made Bella look even more pissed. The class started then I could see that Bella had her head down rubbing her temples looking like she didn't want to be here. Then I noticed something blue roll back and forth on her lips. _God she must have her tongue pierced_. I could feel my dick grow hard. I was trying to shift in my seat to be more comfortable, but it wasn't happening. I was trying to listen to what the teacher was saying, but I couldn't. I was too caught up in my own thoughts about how good those lips and that tongue ring would fell on my cock. Thankfully it's the first day and nothing important happens anyway, just the teacher going over what we will learn and what they will not tolerate from us.

I was so caught up with my own stuff that I didn't realize the hour was up. Looking around Lauren, Jessica, and Tanya were still getting their stuff around but Bella, Alice and the guy were gone. I wonder how many classes I'd have with her, maybe then I could figure her out a little more.

I walked out and head to Spanish. God I can see this day is going to be a long one. _This is why I never liked the first day_. Not looking were I just going, I bumped right into Tanya at her locker.

"Oh sorry, I guess I should watch were I'm going, huh?" I said as I finally took a good look at her. She had a nice body, very slender with a nice ass, long legs, and perky breast.

"I think you just bumped into me so you could check me out." She said as she blushed a little. I couldn't believe she said that. She seems like the shy type.

"Hey I've got Spanish next. Want to walk with me?" was the next thing she said. Instead of coming out with what I really wanted to say at this moment, I said

"Well it just happens to be your lucky day. That's where I'm headed so now you can walk with the shiny new toy of the school." She looked confused at what I said, but smiled anyways. Walking a little ahead of me, she looked over her shoulder, a shy smile on her face, rolled her finger up to follow her, saying,

"Stop looking at my butt and lets go." Closing the distant between us in two long strides, I smacked her ass and kept walking, knowing she would be right behind me.

The next two hours went by in a blur of shameless flirting by most the girls in my classes, and guys wanting to get buddy, buddy with me cause they saw how the girls looked at me. Most of the guys acted like they were all ok with it because I knew I couldn't pull my shit here. It felt so much like my old school, only without seducing the teacher to get the grade, buying my way out of things. Among all the other things I did, my dad would kill me if I did, so I know I have to behave or the next step is boot camp.

Next thing I knew it was lunch. Walking in the cafeteria, I saw all the cliques in the school. You had the jocks and bimbo cheerleaders, the nerds and bookworms. I continued to scan the room to see where Alice was sitting. Bella, once again, was with that guy from our English class. She was hugging up all over him. Beside Alice was a blonde surfer type with his arm wrapped around her chair. _Must be her boyfriend_. Then I saw Emmett's girl next to him sitting at the very back table.

Just as I was about to walk over there, Tanya popped up in front of me and asked if I wanted to sit with her at her table. I knew that Alice had wanted me to sit with them so I weighed my options. Quickly knowing that maybe if I sat with Tanya, I might get some more info to see how I could Bella in bed only because Em told me it would be hard. I wanted to find the easy way to do it, to show him that I had no problems getting any girl I wanted. I knew the proof would be her since he said she wouldn't be easy.

Finally I told her, "Sure I'll sit with you." She smiled like she just won the lotto and led the way.

I sent a look to Alice and smiled. She smiled back and went back to talking to everyone. Tanya sat down at a table with Jessica, Lauren, and a few people I think I had some classes with, but didn't know any of their names.

Tanya said, "this is Mike, Eric, Tyler and Angela and you know Lauren and Jessica," pointing at each of them as she said their names. I nodded at everyone, sat down facing toward Alice's table so I could see what everyone at their table was doing. Just as I sat down, my cell phone beeped. I pulled it out of my pocket, opened it up to see that I had a text from Em.

"_**Dude what the hell did you do to Bella, she's bitch about you.**_" I hadn't done anything to her. Hell I haven't even talked to her. Why would she be bitching about me?

I was aware everyone at the table was talking, but didn't hear any of it until I heard one of the guys say

"Dude what are you looking at?" It was then that I realized I was looking at Bella with her cell to her ear.

"Nothing really," looking to see who said it. I noticed Mike turned around to see what I was looking at. He turned back around, smiling, then said

"I see you noticed Bella, but don't waste your time. She's the biggest tease around here and the only one that gets it is Jacob. Trust me, I've been trying for years." All the guys nodded.

Lauren then spoke up, "Mike you're being too nice. She's the town slut and we both know it. And Jacob isn't the only one that gets it, I can name a few others." Tanya nodded her head glaring at the table. I watched on as everyone looked over at them then noticed Bella and Jacob were gone.

Eric said, "Hey ladies, don't go to the bathroom anytime soon. I see they're gone. Won't want you to walk in on anything," then laughed.

"Is that the normal thing they do?" I said that made everyone laugh, but only Mike said

"Since you're new I'll let you know. Expect the unexpected when walking into the bathroom or empty bio room during lunch. You just might walk in on something that you shouldn't." _Wow this girl is just like me if not worst. This could be very bad._ I stood up, told everyone I had to make a call, and left I went to both men's bathrooms. Nothing.

_Well maybe their in the girl's, I'll head off to the bio room and check there._ I wanted to see if all the people I was sitting with were right, or if they just thought that's what they were doing. I mean I've done it in the bathroom at school but it's not an everyday thing. Maybe they just walked in at just the moment a few times and blew it way out of proportion.

**There you have it a edited chapter please let me know what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV **

As I walked into lunch I was so pissed that Alice had invited Edward to sit with us. It's always been just the 6 of us, but since Em wasn't here, it became just the 5 of us. It was nice. I didn't want to deal with anyone else's bullshit. Edward walked in and Alice tried to wave him over, but thankfully he sat with the bitch Tanya and her undercover sluts. None of them liked me because I just don't give a fuck how I act. I do what I want no matter what others think. There have been many times they've walked in on me and Jake going at it in the bathroom, they always acting like I should be ashamed about what I was doing. The only difference between them and me is that I do it when I want to and where I want to, not just in the back seat of the car like them.

I knew the whole table he was with was going on about me being a slut and I thought it is funny. I called Em to bitch about Alice inviting his dick of a friend to sit with us. He told me how Edward said I was a bitch and he told him to beware because I wasn't easy and could play the game just as well as him. I guess he is a player that got any girl he went after. I couldn't believe it. I knew after that Edward would try just like all the rest to get with me. _This is going to be fun._ He can try all he wants, but it won't get him anywhere.

Jacob pulled me from my thoughts when he leaned over, bite my ear and said, "Want to go to the Bio room to have some fun before we got class?" Rubbing my hands up his arm, I leaned over him to tell Alice.

"Hey we'll see you in bio. Try not to walk in early unless you want an eye full," I laughed.

"Bella, Bella, Bella what are we going to do about you?" She laughed out load, Jasper just nodded, and Rose said, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"You know Rose that's a very short list. From what I heard, you'll try anything once." She knew I was joking so she added, "Twice if I like it," with a wink. We all laughed about the conversation. _We've all talked about this far too much._

"Hey Alice got to show the new guy there's fact behind the rumors we both know he's getting an ear full there." I told her leaning my head towards Edward. Then Jake and I headed out to the bio room. It was the place we used the most since it was our next class.

The lights were still off once in the Bio room. Glancing up at the clock, I noticed that we only had about 15 minutes before the bell rings, and Jake was just standing by the door. Walking backwards to the tables, I started to unzip my hoodie then slid it off, dropping it to the floor, and then I hopped on my table. Jacob walked over to me, placed his hands on the table on each side of me, leaning in until his lips were barely touching mine. Knowing we were wasting what little time we had, I wrapped my arms and legs around him rolling my hips on his dick. I could feel him go hard and smirked a little, knowing that I got him hard. Just then a low moan came from his mouth before his arm wrapped around me and pulled me into a kiss that was so full of lust. He brought his other hand up my hips, across my stomach, then to my breast, brushing his thumb over my hard nipple making me arch into him.

Knowing we didn't have much time, I ran my hand down his arm then over to his jean button, undoing them pushing them down just a little to release him. He got the hint that I wasn't in the mood for foreplay. He laid me down on the table, undoing my jeans and pulling them down to my knees. Lifting my legs to his chest he entered me slowly at first then in hard long thrusts. Just as I started to feel my whole body tingle, I heard his low growl coming from his lips, knowing we were both about to get off. I heard the door open, I tried to crane my neck to see who it was, but couldn't. Then I heard that velvet voice.

"Well I guess the rumors are true." That's all it took for me to push Jake off. He looked pissed when I did that. We never stop when people walk in when we're so close. He stepped back to pull his pants up and I hopped off of the table to do the same. Once I had my pants up, I pushed pass Jake grabbed, my hoodie putting it back on, glaring at Edward.

I said, "Well if you heard we were in here why are you?" God I really can't stand this jackass!

"Well I just wanted to see what kind of girl I was up against. Plus this is my next class anyway," my eyes went wide.

"Well you might as well stick with the undercover sluts, you'll get more from them because you won't be getting it me" was all I said as I pushed passed him. I felt Jacob's arm around me and we walked out of the room, heading toward Jake's care.

Once we got to Jacob's car, I lit a cigarette, jumped in the passenger seat then it hit me I would have to sit with him for the next hour. Alice, Jake, and I are all in that class, but the only empty seat is next to me since Mr. Banner never puts anyone with me. Alice and I talk too much and he thinks Jake and I will fuck in the middle of class, so that leaves the rest of the class that I just can't work with. Most of the guys just stare and the girls just don't like me. Jacob then pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Bells what the hell was that all about?" I don't want to deal with this crap so I just say,

"Well from what Em has said he is a player. Gets what he want and Em warned him he couldn't get me so now I'm the prey, so to speak." I could tell Jacob didn't like that even if he says it's just a 'no strings' sex relationship and that we only have a friendship. He still gets jealous when I'm with someone else so I added, "but trust me he won't get me. I think he's a jackass. Who needs a little boy like him when I got a big strong man like you?" that brought a smile to his face so I knew it was over. I knew it was a bit of a lie cause I get bored at times and had other people, but oh well.

Putting out my cigarette, we headed back to class, knowing we were going to be late. I saw Edward sitting at the table ignoring what Mr. Banner was saying. I sat at my table and put my feet on the desk. Just then Edward leaned over to say "You know I always get what I want. Might as well make it easy. Give up now and then we both can have some real fun." _I can't believe this guy!_

"Well I hate to tell you, but I'm already having fun and I'm sure you've already heard I'm a tease. I guess you can try all you want, but you're going to fail" I said to him. He chuckled a little. _God he must have a set of brass balls on him._

Now I really can't wait for the weekend. I can tell it's going to be a long week. We're all planning on partying in La Push at First Beach with all of Jacob's friends. I know I'm going to need to drink to forget about it all. Being up there always helps. We have a bonfire, drinks everywhere, and I'm sure some weed, if I'm lucky, that is. I had my head down thinking about the fun when I felt a cool hand touch my lower back. I jerked away. It felt like something shocked me, looking around I saw it was Edward touching me. With that dazzling smile on his face, he leaned over again so his lips was only centimeters from my ear and said, "That's a nice tattoo." He was tracing the stars and bubbles I had there. I slapped his hand off my back, scowling him.

"You know what, keep you're hands off me and yes it is nice. I might as well have a tramp stamp since that's what the girls call me," just as I said it the bell rang. I got out of my seat and walked up to Alice and Jacob to head to gym.

_Great I can't wait._

I actually like gym unlike the rest of the girls. I like playing sports with the guys. I guess growing up and hanging out with three guys and a dad that are all into them, I learned to love them too. Plus it's the only class the five of us are in, it makes for a great laugh after a long day here. Jasper and Jake are good at just about everything, Alice and Rose are too girly to want to play anything but football, which is odd since Rose loves to get greasy while working on cars, but not sweaty playing sports.

After we all changed we walked out and I noticed Edward had this class too.

_Great now I have to deal with him in three classes._

After watching the undercover slut try to get to sit out, we all warmed up, then headed to the track to run laps. Thank god it's always warm here. We get to spend the last hour outside most days.

Alice all of a sudden said, "So what's up with you and the new guy?"

"What are you talking about? I can't even stand him!" I told her then Rose piped in.

"So did he walk in on you and Jacob because I saw you guys in his car and that never happens."

"Oh shut up. He walked in on us, thinking that he's going get me in his bed, and it won't happen. Oh yeah, can I get a ride home since Em drove me here?"

Alice said yeah then the bell rang to signal the final end of this day. Thankfully the rest of Monday went by without any problems.

I wake up to another bright sunny day and hoped in the shower. I think I'm going play with Edward today. A little game of 'look, but don't touch.' I get out and throw my towel around me. Making my way to my closet, I pulled a denim mini skirt and black tank top that has a deep v neck and tight fitting, and shows off my belly just a little, as well as the baby blue stars and bubbles along my lower back. Sliding them on, I choose just a simple flip-flop that way it doesn't look like I'm trying. I brush my hair, put a little gel in, and scrunch it so that it's curly. I brush my teeth, do my normal make-up: eyeliner, mascara, and lip-gloss.

Heading down the stairs, I notice Charlie sitting in the kitchen. He's normally gone before I get up.

"Hey dad what's up?" Not that I really care, but whatever. I plopped down in my chair lighting a cigarette, Charlie frowning at me. I know he hates that I smoke, but oh well. "Well Bella I got a call from Renee yesterday at work." _Wonderful._ I know where this is going.

"She still thinks that you should go stay with her." After a minute, I stand up look him right in the eyes.

"I will not go live with her. My life is here and its not like she'll stop my money if I don't go." I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but when she left four years ago to be with a 24 year old baseball player I choose not to go, all she wants me for is so they can look like the picture prefect family. I will _not_ be a part of that. Hell, she bought me my car and I get 3,000 a month from her, plus three credit cards. I can have anything I want, and she thinks that will make me want to live with her, but we all know that's not going to happen. Charlie pulled me from my thoughts.

"Bella, honey, I know she won't stop your money but I think you should think about it." I can't believe he just said that to me!

"No Charlie, I will not go. Hell, I don't even want to hear about it again so next time she calls tell her I'm very happy where I am and I will not be going." After saying that, I walk out the door to my 2009 Honda s2000 CR. I didn't feel like going to school just yet so I just drove around a while.

Thinking why does she always have to start this moving shit when things are going good, I mean I'm a junior in high school I have a 4.0. Yeah I drink a lot, do drugs and party, but I want out of this town so I stay straight at school. I may have sex, but I make sure to use protection. I don't what to have a baby before college. I have great friends. It's not like I'm out getting arrested, I mean even if Charlie is the chief of police, he would still arrest me if what I did was major. I think Renee and Phil should just have their own kid so then they have the picture perfect family and leave me out of it.

I didn't even realize I was stopped until I looked around, hell I didn't even realize I was headed any where until I heard:

"Well are you just gonna sit there all day or bring your ass in?" It was Em. He knew why I was there and it had nothing to do with him. I jumped out of the car, stalked up to the door right passed him up the stairs. I was headed to see James, Emmett's cousin, who is 20. I went to him whenever shit got tough since it was never any questions asked. If Jake could be like that I would be pulling his ass from school right now, but he always knows when something is wrong and wants to talk about it to make me feel better, not just fuck me and be done with it. At the top of the stairs once again I heard Em

"He's not here, he won't be back for a few days." That stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Well where is he then? I need him." I knew I didn't have to explain anything to Emmett. He knew what was going on anytime I headed right to James's room without so much as a hello to him. He doesn't like this little game that James and I play, but will never say anything about it.

"He just isn't here. Told me to tell you that you can call him." Well god dammit. I'm not going to get anywhere here.

I stomped back down the stairs right back out the door "What? I don't get a hello or a hug, anything?" Em said acting like he was hurt by it but I know what he's trying to do. The three of us have been playing this song and dance for a year now. "Sorry Em," was all I said as I walked back over to him into a bone-crushing hug. After he put me down he said,

"You wanna talk about it?" He knew I didn't, I never do. When I didn't say anything he went on "I know its about your mom so I won't push," he said seriously then he got the big goofy smile on his face and said "but guess what? Edward is trying to get some dirt so he can break you down."

That's when I got a great idea. I knew Em would be all for "Hey Em want to make some fast cash on a bet?" I knew I had him. He was always up for bets.

"Hell yeah Bells, you know I'm always up for a good bet."

"Ok, is Edward a betting man too?" the grin on his face got even bigger so I knew my answer and went on, "Ok then. Bet how ever much he can't break me down?"

"Well Bells I don't know about that one I might lose my money he's a slick mother. If he wants it, he'll get it. No offence but I think I'll lose that one," he told me.

"Fine but I know he won't." I said as I turned around and went to my car and sped off.

I drove around a little more sipping my buddy Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. After I had a good buzz I pulled into school. I walk in to see Edward sitting with everyone. _What the fuck?_ Jake is even talking to him. Ok this should be good. I walk over to them sit down and all eyes were on me like I had two heads.

"What the fuck is up?" I blurted out. Jake was the first to say something. "You know Charlie isn't gonna like you missing half of the second day of school. Where the hell have you been?" _Fuck._ I couldn't tell him where I went. He would know something was up. So I just shrugged. "So Alice what'd I miss today?" I said turning to her.

She scrunched her nose as she smelt my breath. "Um why the heck have you been drinking?" she said with that damn worried look she always gives me.

"Damn. Why is everyone one on my ass today? First Charlie, then Em, now you guys?" Right after I said it I knew I was fucked. I looked around and everyone's eyes were wide staring at me. The only one to talk was Rose.

"You went to see James this morning, didn't you?" She was mad. _God can this get any worst?_ Jake looked confused, Edward looked amused, Alice looked more worried and Jasper was the only one that looked calm.

"Rose If you must know, yes I did. He wasn't there so no big deal, but I guess you already know that. Now lay off." I looked at Jake again. I could tell it was all starting to click in place in his head. He knew why I would go see James. He stood up grabbed me by the arm trying to drag me from my chair but I'm not having that shit today. I pulled my arm away.

Thankfully the bell rang right then, so I don't have to deal with him. I went to class, put up with sexual comments from Edward, which I blew off. Dealt with the same bull shit from my friends in gym, and then tried to head home. But when I walked out to my car, Edward was leaning on it.

"Get off my car bitch." I knew it was harsh, but I'm tried of all the bullshit from today. He didn't get off so I walked right in front of his face. "I swear to God if you don't get your ass off my car I'll break that pretty nose of yours." I had my fist balled up ready to do it when I notice Tanya standing by the bumper of my car.

_What the hell does she want?_ Before I could ask, she was pushing me out of her way and kissed Edward against my car. That's all it took to set me off. She knew it would too. She turned around with a smug smile on her face. Hell she didn't even see me swinging until my fist made contact with her eye.

She stumbled back into Edward, his eyes wide. "Now listen here Tanya, you think your tough shit and would get away with making out against my car, you got another thing coming. You know I'm not the one to fuck with." I seethed at her. As I went to swing around, someone caught my arm. I turned around to see Mrs. Victoria holding my arm.

Right then I knew I was out of school for the week. "Yeah, yeah, I know three days. I'll see you Monday." She didn't look happy but nodded after telling me there better not be a next time. With that I pushed Tanya out my way then Edward jumped in his car and headed home. Jake was there by the time I pulled in, waiting on the steps. I swear I could see steam coming out of his ears, he was so mad.

After telling him about Renee and James he wasn't as upset, just hurt that I didn't come to him. But oh well, he knew me well enough that I needed some distance for myself. Then I told him about what I did to Tanya, which got a laugh out of him. So I knew all was forgiven.

Jake POV

I sat here waiting for Bella to get home, hoping she would come straight here, not anywhere else. With that girl you never know. She is so hot and cold all the time. I know she thinks I'm okay with the 'no strings attached' relationship we have, but I'm not. She's my best friend. She knows everything about me, all my faults and she still loves me, just not in the way I want. Even knowing that I can't stop this I know its never going to turn out the way I want, but I guess no one really gets what they want with Bells. She puts this wall around herself, but she wasn't always this way. There's things about her people just don't know and will never know. There are only three of us that do and that's her, James and myself. Every time she runs to James that night replays in my head and all the rage comes back.

_Flashback 3 years earlier _

"James, Where's Bella?" I had been looking for Bella for awhile and couldn't find her. She was nowhere. He shook his head no. "Hey then do you know how much she's had to drink?" I mean I knew we were all pretty gone but I didn't know when she started

"I'm not sure. I know she started right after school so I know more then the rest of us." _Fuck._ I should have known the first year her mom left things were ok, but in the last six months things have not been good. She'd been drinking all day every day for the last four days, sleeping long enough to sober up a little, eat and go right back to drinking. She's even doing it at school. I think she's been blacking out too since she didn't remember shit she had done the night before.

"Alright if you see her tell her I'm looking for her, ok man?" He sat as I kept walking. "Yeah ok."

I know he doesn't think anything's wrong, so I just kept walking up the stairs. I found Alice and she told me she saw her head to the bathroom. The doors are closed so she must be right. I was getting ready to knock when I heard grunting behind the door, some thing is not right. Bella is a virgin I know she wouldn't just give it up to anyone. I barge in the room to find Bella pass out on the floor naked from the waist down and Alec on top of her with his pants around his ankles.

"Get the fuck off of her. What the hell is your problem-" was all I got out before he cut me off.

"Dude she wanted it." When he said that I grabbed him around the neck and slammed him into the wall. He was trying to plead with me as my first blow hit him in the mouth. All I could see was red. How could someone treat Bella like that? She's sweet, selfless, caring and innocent. All I could see was him on top of her. I don't know how long I stood there beating the fuck out of him until I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders pulling me back, Alec slide down the wall then pulled his pants up and tried to run out of there, but it was more like limping out. _Good, motherfucker_.

I turned around to see James standing there. "What the hell did you do to my boy?" he looked at me like I had six eyes and two heads and I couldn't believe he was defending him. I pushed past him to get Bella while pulling her pants back on. I could see the hand marks starting to form on her legs. That's when James realized what happened. He went off after Alec beat the living day lights out of him while I got Bells out of there and into her bed.

Taking care of her for almost a week because she was so hurt. Bruises all over her body and she could barely walk. She made me swear to not tell Charlie since she couldn't remember what happened and she knew he would send her to live with Renee.

_Flashback ends._

That's the night that she changed. She's never been the same since. Last summer she started going to James when things got bad, but for all the wrong reasons. She didn't want to talk just wanted to forget, and she thinks the only way to do that is with sex. She knows he won't ask any questions. He gives her what she wants. I know something was said about Renee this morning that's the only reason she would go to him and not find me. It hurts every time she does and she knows it does. Maybe if I just give in and not ask what's wrong she would stop going there, or maybe she does it so she can keep me an arms length away. I don't know.

All I really know is that I'm completely in love with her. That I'll take whatever she is willing to give me. Right then I noticed Bella pull in "Hey Jake I know you're mad but Renee is starting with the moving bullshit again and I just needed to feel better and James wasn't home so nothing happened anyway. Are we good?" I wanted to say no we're not, I love you, but instead:

"Yeah we're ok." I couldn't say great cause I didn't feel great.

"Oh yeah guess what happened as I left school?" I nodded for her to keep going. "Tanya decided she was bad ass, made out against my car, and I punched her. Now I'm out 'til Monday." After she told me, I had to laugh. That sounded like Tanya to me. She can't stand Bella, not that I really know why and would do anything to make her mad.

"So why don't you skip Friday? We'll spend all day at your house and just chill out on the beach until the party?" She looked at me with those big brown eyes and I knew I couldn't tell her no.

"Yeah Bells that sounds great. I'll come get you Thursday night and you can stay over, then we can spend the day together Friday." She nodded, gave me a big hug and a kiss. "Love you Jake. See you Thursday." She turned and walked into the house.

I know I should tell her--no I should have told her-- I loved her. I don't know! I should have just done something so she would understand, but I know I would lose her if I told her I wanted a relationship and loved her even if I think she feels the same for me, just doesn't know it. I can only hope that she figures it out soon so we can both be happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV **

**I woke up to the god-forsaken alarm clock, rolling over I turned it off. Its finally Friday, I thought about my first week at school it wasn't too bad since I hate school. I know most of what they are teaching us, but I fit into Bella's crew with no problems, which was great since it's a badass group of people. Plus they rule the school; no one fucks with them. They are great, Rose can be a bitch but I can see how she handles Em, she take no shit. Alice is spunky and so full of energy, Jasper was always calm and quite. The only one I didn't really like was Jacob just something about him made me want to punch him…. I can't really tell you why because even I don't know. I mean he seems nice and all but I just don't like him.**

**Then there's Bella. I've learned a lot about her but none of it will help me get down her pants. Wednesday I was going to tell her sorry for all the pursuing I was doing and that I would stop. Maybe if she thought I didn't want her she would come after me, but instead she punched Tanya, which was really fucking funny. I learned she has a bad temper, which I had already seen, and she doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about her unless it's her friends. I learned that her father was the chief of police that couldn't control his own wild child. She drinks, smokes and does a few drugs but not all the time, that her and Jake have been sleeping together off and on for two years, that she is sexy but is still a tomboy. She does seem like a cool girl that I could hang out with but none of this helps me with what I wanted.**

**I finally rolled out of bed, got ready, and headed off to school. I noticed everyone's cars already here as I pulled into the parking lot. Man I figured in a town this small I would be the only one with money. The only car not there is Jacob's. **_**Huh.**__**I wonder where he is?**_** I get out and leaned back on my car with my head against the roof enjoying the sun, that is until I felt a pair of hands on my chest. Looking back down, I notice it was Tanya with Jessica and Lauren. **_**God they won't leave me alone.**_

"**Hey Eddie," Tanya said. God I really hate that name. I just nodded, not really wanting to deal with them.**

"**Well there's a huge party up at La push tonight. Would you wanna go?" Jessica said. **_**A party huh?**_** I might just have to check that out.**

"**Its on the Beach. Everyone will be there. Bella and the rest throw it every year at Jake's house. There will be alcohol and god knows what else." Lauren piped up. These girls really wanted me to go, but the only words that would make me want to go was Bella and alcohol.**

"**Ok I'll have to go check it out," was all I said as I pushed past them. Ever since Tanya gave me head she's been really clingy thinking she's gonna be my one and only, or something. That's not my type of girl.**

**The first part of the morning went quick and before I knew it. It was lunch, thank god. This day is going by fast. I sat down with the rest of them when something hit me. "Hey guys what's up with this party I'm hearing about?" they never mentioned anything about earlier in the week.**

"**Oh damn forgot you were new. Big blow out at the beach tonight," Alice said.**

"**If you want you can ride up with us," Rose offered.**

"**Who's us?" hopefully not just her and Em. God knows what I would be seeing.**

"**Well all of us since none of us will be up to driving so we all just go together and then crash at Jake's." Jasper said. **_**Finally.**_** I swear that man hardly speaks.**

"**Well I guess that's cool," was all I could manage because I knew that I'd go either way, might as well not have to drive. "So sorts of stuff is gonna be there?" I needed to know what to expect. I hate going into things unsure.**

"**Well there will be all kinds of booze, I'm sure some pot and if your into it, coke. We always have a bonfire. It is pretty badass. I don't know how we get away with it every year with out getting busted," Alice said. Huh, well that does sound good. The girls went into details of what they were going to wear. Jasper told stories of the past party's there and I have to say, for this town being so small, it sounds like this party would be wilder then any party I went to back home.**

**The rest of the day went by with no problems. Thank god the undercover sluts, as I noticed most people call them, didn't bother me again. After making plans that everyone would meet at Emmett's at five o'clock I headed home. Esme was sitting in the kitchen when I got in the house. I walked in gave her hug, and then grabbed something to eat. I knew I had to eat a heavy meal if I planned on drinking. I could feel my mom's eyes on me wondering what the hell I was doing, but I didn't care. I sure as hell was not gonna tell her. What was I going say 'Yeah mom I'm eating all this so I can go get plastered tonight?' Yeah, that would go over real well. I just kept making my food and took it up to my room. I didn't feel like having her watch me all afternoon. For some reason she always knew I was up to something. Like I said, I just didn't need that today.**

**After I finished eating, I jumped in the shower thinking about tonight. I will find away to break Bella tonight just not sure how yet, but is that what I really wanted? Maybe I should go with the chase for a while, it would only make it better in the long run. Just having to look at a girl and get what I want was kind of boring. Maybe the change would be nice; I guess I'll just have to roll with it tonight. I got out trying to find something to wear. It's gonna be hot tonight and maybe I'll take a dip at the beach. **_**Ah I know just the thing.**_** I pulled a pair of light blue and gray swim shorts and a white option A shirt on. I'm going for comfortable tonight. I ran my hands through my hair trying to tame it, but low and behold, it never works. Oh well, girls seem to like my sex hair. I brushed my teeth then looked at the clock. I noticed it was 4:30 so I headed out the door not saying anything to my mom.**

**I hopped in my Volvo, turning the key listening to it purr to life and tore out of the drive. Em only lived a mile or so down the road. I pulled in, walk up to the door, and before I could knock, a slender guy with light brown hair and aqua eyes opened it. "Hey man, Em around?" I asked having no clue if he was.**

"**Em, someone to see you," was all he said. As I followed him inside, Emmett bounced down the stairs with that goofy smile of his.**

"**Hey Edward," he said knocking fits with me. "This is James, my cousin. I see you're headed up to Jake's with us? So I heard Bella got kicked out Wednesday for hitting someone. What did you do?" Why the hell would he think it was me? **_**Damn**_**. Why did James's eyes bug out of his head?**

"**Hey I didn't do anything. She punched Tanya." I told him.**

"**From what I hear, you were leaning on her car, big mistake. Then stupid Tanya just added fuel to the fire by making out with you against it, even bigger mistake." **_**Shit, he already knew. **_**Why does that not surprise me? All I did was nod.**

"**Man you never piss Swan off. She doesn't fuck around," James said. That's when it hit me. James was who Bella came to see Wednesday.**

"**Yeah I see that. Didn't realize someone else was like me when it came to their car." I said laughing a little. We stood there another couple seconds when everyone barged in.**

**Finally we were off. I had no clue where we were headed, but we headed out of town. About thirty minutes later we were pulling to a small house on the left side of the beach with a deck that looked out on the water. I'm guessing its Jake's since everyone was piling out. Bella was sitting on the steps looking just as fuck-able as the first time I saw her. She stood up and started walking up to us when I noticed what she was wearing. She had a blue tee shirt that said 'A dick a day keeps the bitch away,' a pair of cut off blue jean shorts with paint splattered on them, and no shoes. Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail and no make up. **_**Damn she is sexy as fuck without even trying**_**. I swear I could have busted a nut right then and there. Em pulled her into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet. She kissed his check and he put her down. She gave everyone else a hug and James a peck on the lips. Well I guess tonight's gonna be much more interesting then I thought. Nothing like having two people your having sex with in the same place.**

**When she looked at me she just glared. "Alice what the fuck is he doing here?" but as she said it I saw her looking me up and down then the corners of her mouth lifted up a little. **_**That's right sweetheart look all you want**_**.**

"**Well he's cool to hang out with other then the fact that he is just like you," Alice told her. Hold on a minute! What did she mean we were alike?**

"**Fine, whatever. Lets get shit moved around," with that she turned on her heels and headed inside, Alice and Rose trailing behind her. Just as she walked in the door Jacob was heading out not even looking at us. "Come on guys we need to get stuff out here," then he noticed who all was here.**

"**Oh, James, didn't think you would come," Jake spat, with a look that said 'why the fuck you even here?' Ok, its official. Tonight is gonna be entertaining.**

"**Oh Jake you know I'd never miss Bella half naked all night. Oh wait, my mistake, completely naked." James threw at him. "And just so you know, I will have her by the end of the night." Wow this man has some balls.**

"**Just as long as you like tasting my dick, you should be fine," Jake sneered back. Alright, now that was just gross.**

"**Alright you two don't make me piss pound the both of you." Em said, standing between them. I wonder how many times he has to do this?**

**We all headed out to get wood and whatever else. I walked with Em, Jacob went by himself, and James was with Jasper. Once we were where no one else could hear us I spoke. "Hey what's the story with those two?"**

**Em just shook his head. "They both want more from Bella what do you think? I mean she's a great girl, but she is pretty fucked up in the head sometimes. A lot of shit has happened to her." I just nodded.**

"**Alright. How often do you have to step in the middle of them?" Once again he shook his head.**

"**Way too many man. Do me a favor and try to keep an eye on them tonight. The last big party we were all at didn't turn out so great," was all he said. He acted like there was more, but I wouldn't push him to find out.**

"**Yeah, okay, I'll do my best." I wonder what he meant by she is fucked up. Bella seems like she doesn't have a care in the world. Maybe we're more alike then I thought.**

**BPOV**

**After spending the day with Jake I went outside to wait for everyone else to show up. We had things to get done before the party started. We always locked all the doors other then the bathroom and the only ones with a key are Jake and I. We love having this party every year, we just don't want any unwelcomed over night guests. Just then I saw Emmett's Jeep and everyone got out. Just fucking perfect. Not only is James here, but also Edward. Nothing like having two guys you slept with and one that's trying to, all in the same place. I hugged everyone then asked Alice what the hell he was doing here trying to glare at him, but noticed what he had on and damn he is sexy as hell. I couldn't help but smile a little. I knew she was talking but didn't hear a word of it. "Fine, whatever. Lets get shit moved around." After that we went in to lock all the doors. I snuck a few shots since Jake starts to worry when I drink too early, but tonight isn't about him, James, or anyone else. It's about me. This party couldn't have came at a better time since Charlie was on my ass over Renee wanting me to move and that I got kicked out of school three days into the new semester. I'm just looking to get drunk have fun and not think about anything. I know both Jake and James thinks one of them are going get me tonight, but not gonna happen. I don't like drunken sloppy sex.**

"**So why did you punch Tanya Wednesday?" Alice sang out.**

"**Well I'm sure you already know so why are you asking?" I said. I mean damn sometimes it's like she can see into the future. She knows something's gonna happen before it does so I know she knew. Plus everyone in this town runs their mouth.**

"**I heard a few different reasons, just wanna find out which one is true, damn Bella," she was pissed but smiling.**

"**Sorry Ali. I just hate how people talk, but anyways I punched her because she decided to make out up against my car. What'd you hear?"**

"**Well I heard something along those lines just a little more added to it," she sang out with a mischievous smile on her face. **_**Oh no what did she hear and what is she planning?**_** Nothing good happens when she looks like this.**

"**I'll ask again, what did you hear?" Hopefully if I knew what she heard I might be able to figure out what her plan is. "Well I heard you punched her because her and Edward were making out on your car," came her singsong voice. **_**Oh hell she thinks I'm jealous!**_

"**Well yes she was making out with Edward, but it wasn't who she was kissing that made me mad just that it was on my car." I tried to say but she was just shook her head.**

"**Oh sweet, sweet Bella, keep telling yourself that. I just know that something big is gonna happen between you two," she said. Rose looked bored so I changed the subject.**

"**So Rose, how are things with you and Em?" I knew that's all it took to get her to go on for days therefore I didn't have to talk just nod at the right places and say the appropriate 'oh yeah" or 'he didn't' at all the right times; it's great. I always ask one of them about their relationship when I don't want to talk about me anymore and they fall for it every time.**

**I love my friends but sometime all the couples shit drives me insane. They think I'm lonely without a boyfriend. How could I be lonely when I got two guys that can give me just what I need? Each for different reasons though. James has learned that if I want to talk I will, and if I don't, just shut up and have fun, Were as Jacob, he knows when to put the fun on hold and push me to talk when I know I need to. Now if I could just combine them I would have the perfect man. Having no clue how long I was in my own thoughts, Rose finally said, "Ok guys we need to start getting ready. Bells what are you wearing tonight?"**

"**I'm gonna wear my yellow eyelet bikini, and my clove and turquoise double layer dress"**

"**That sounds great." Rose said and with that we all went to get ready. **

**After showering and drying off I put my bikini and dress on. I pulled my hair in a French twist then put on just a little eyeliner, strawberries 'n cream lip gloss, and headed out the door.**

**I knew I still had a few minutes before they were done so I started grabbing an arm full of bottles of alcohol and cups to take to the bar outside. We always have a little of everything there so everyone gets what they want including a couple of kegs of beer. I'm not really sure how Charlie hasn't busted us over the years but he hasn't. Rose and Alice walked out and saw what they were wearing. We are going be the best looking here, as always. Alice had on a halter top and side tie bottoms with multi-colored hearts all over it with a surf girl message tee to throw over it. Rose had on a bandeau top and low-rise bottoms that were red with a checker trim, yellow circles right between her boobs and on each hip, and a short jean destroyed skirt over top.**

**We've been partying most of the night and I've had way to much to drink but hey I'm still standing so I'm doing good. Hell I'm still dancing so I'm doing even better. All my other friends called it a night a few minutes ago, which leaves me with a few fuckers from school, Jacob, James, and Edward. All three guys took the hit that I'm not in the mood for anything tonight and backed off, well at least the best James and Jake could. Edward went off somewhere with Jessica and came back with permanent a grin plastered on her face. God, it was so funny that I actually fell to the ground laughing. Everyone thought I was crazy because the only reason I thought it was funny is that they all call me a slut and from what I hear Tanya sucked him sometime this week and now Jessica did god knows what with him. They have only known him, what a week? Now that's what I call a slut.**

**But anyways, back to what I was saying. Wait, what was I saying? Hell I don't even remember. Maybe I should stop drinking now. **_**No that doesn't sound like a good idea.**_** You know what sounds like a good idea…I should go tease Mike Newton a little. He has had a thing for me for god knows how long.**

**I stumble my way over to him where he's talking with Taylor and Eric about who cares what. I pulled him around just as 'Crazy Bitch' by buck Cherry comes on, I throw my arms around his neck and start swaying to the beat, grinding just a little. I swear his eyes were about to fall out of his head, but I've got to give him credit, he recovered quickly. I looked around to see both Jake and James glaring at me. I really wish those boys would get out whatever their problem is. I mean Jacob has Leah here and I know they sleep together when him and I aren't, it's not like I'm trying to piss pound her. I mean what's the point? We are all free to do what we want, plus James has a kid with one of his ex's and sleeps with her when he goes to see his daughter so should I be mad about that too? Taylor and Eric look jealous. They all want me but to bad, they will never get me. It's just fun to tease once it awhile.**

**When the song is over I kiss him on the cheek then walk back up to the bar. My bottle of gray goose is almost gone, damn. I do another shot trying to figure out how many this is, 13-14, I think, on top of countless cups of beer. Ok I'm officially cutting myself off. Jake made his way to me kissing my neck glaring over at James. Ok I see where this is going. I'll show both of them I'm not playing their games anymore.**

**I push Jacob off me, walk over to the fire sit down and watch the flames. Something about watching fire seems magical. I don't know how long I sat there. I heard 'S.E.X' by Nickelback start to play. Looking around for someone to dance with, I see that Edward is the only one.**

**So I grab him and start dancing. My arms around his neck his hands on my hips just moving to the music, grinding and roaming my hands over his body. He really does have a nice body with the sexy smirk on his face and them kissable lips. Without stopping to think, I threw my leg up on his hip and he put his hand on my thigh. There's that static shock again**

_**I'm loving what you wanna wear **_

_**I wander what's up under there **_

_**Wonder if I'll ever have it **_

_**Under my tongue**_

**I can feel his hard cock rubbing on my core. **_**Oh my god he feels huge.**_** He licked his lips just then. I wonder what his thinking. That's when it happened. I lost my balance and fell, bringing him down on top of me my other leg wrapped around him and I couldn't help my self, I ran my fingers through his hair. It felt so good like that's what I meant to do. He kept looking between my eyes and lips then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. We moved together perfectly. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was drunk or that it felt so good, but I just had to deepen it, so I ran my tongue over his lips and he gladly opened for me. This is the best kiss I have ever had. I could have gotten off just from one kiss.**

**Finally I had to pull back for air. Looking at him I couldn't help, but laugh. He had the most confused lust filled look on his face.**

"**I'm sorry," was all he said as he got up. That just made me laugh even harder.**

"**Why are you saying sorry. I'm the one that fell," that made him laugh too.**

"**But I shouldn't have kissed you, it was wrong. I just got caught up in the moment."**

**Why did he say it was wrong? It felt damn good to me. Hell it felt like I had spent all my life looking for him, I just didn't know it.**

"**Oh" was all I could get out. I got up, walked to the house and right into the bathroom. I couldn't help it, it made me feel rejected. Why? I don't know, but it did. I will make him mine. I will show him just how right that kiss was.**

**EPOV**

**I can't believe I finally got to the point where I could get down Bella's pants when she fell taking me with her and I kissed her. I know she would have let it go further but as soon as I pulled away and looked in her eyes I saw something I didn't expect to see. Something has broken that girl and I only got a glimpse of it, but once it was there I had to stand up. She was laughing at me, not really sure why, but it could have been that I didn't even follow through with what I've tried to do since Em told me I wouldn't be able to het her. Hell I even told her sorry and that it was wrong, which was all true, but she thought I meant I didn't want her. I could tell her face dropped and all she could say was oh before she took off inside. If only she knew what that one kiss did to me. I felt whole for the first time since that awful night a years ago.**

**I mean how are you supposed to feel after the only person you ever loved since you were ten years old, as stupid as that sounds, your first for everything leaves you then gets with your cousin that so happened to also be your best friend, that you had helped protect that person since they went to a different school then you. There's only so much you can lose before you break, turning into what that other person hates and accused you of all the time. Why not prove them right you already lost them so what the hell, right?**

**Anyways that look in Bella's eyes is the look that I have seen in my own until I pushed it out my head. Once in awhile I think of it but never for long. That's why I have meaningless sex with who ever I can. Why fall again when it only causes heartache? Maybe I'll just be Bella's friend and leave it at that because I can't, no, I won't fall for her.**

**So now that it was decided that I would just be her friend I headed in the house. Everyone was passed out everywhere but she wasn't there. I noticed the bathroom door was closed so I knocked thinking she might be sick. She did drink a whole hell of a lot. I've never seen a girl be able to drink that much and still be walking, but fuck she did it. Maybe I just found my best drinking buddy ever. There was no answer so I slowly pushed it open to find her passed out in the tub. Why the fuck is she in there? I have no clue but there she is. I can't let her sleep there so I scoop her up in my arms and carry her out into the living room. The only spot that would be comfortable was at the other end of Jacob so I plopped her down there then grabbed the blanket off the back to cover her up. I found a chair to pass out in too. It's been a long night. By Monday, Tanya and Jessica will talk so neither will think that they are the one and only so they'll back off. I can only hope.**

**The Next thing I know I hear yelling "What the hell is going on here?" That woke me up quickly since it didn't sound like any of the gang. That's when I saw what must be Jake's dad standing there fuming. I guess he didn't plan on coming**

**home to a whole house full of teenagers passed out.**

"**God can you keep your damn voice down I'm hung over," was Bella's smart answer. God you never tell the truth to a parent! What the hell is wrong with her? As I look at the man yelling it seemed to calm him down. I thought all was ok until I saw that evil smile come across his face. As he walked out the next thing I heard was pots and pans banging and the radio blaring. I couldn't help but laugh; this must be the normal around here. It only made him laugh harder when Bella threw the blanket off her looking like she rode hard and put away wet.**

**She just glared at me and stomped to the kitchen. **_**God I have to see this.**_** I followed her inside the kitchen. Once we were in the kitchen, she jerked the plug of the radio and glared at Jake's dad. "What the hell was that? If you wanted us up you know all you have to do is start coffee." She pretty much spat at him. With that he turned around. "Young lady, never talk to me like that again and I am tired of taking care of all of you hung over kids." Damn, she's in trouble and she knows it. She looked down at the floor**

"**Sorry Billy," was all she could get out. I couldn't help but snicker which wasn't the right thing to do since Billy looked at me. "And who the hell are you, you're new." "I'm Edward Masen, Sir" I said shaking his hand. "Oh, ok," was all he said. I noticed Bella was now sitting at the table with a mug of coffee looking like she was going to fall asleep again so I sat down too. That was when everyone else started dragging their asses in the door too. Must have smelt the coffee like Bella said.**

**Hell everyone looked like death. "So kids what happened here last night?" For some reason I think he already knew but just wanted to hear it. "Dad you know it's the first weekend into the year. We always have a bash every year since we were freshmen. How could you forget?" Jacob said. Jesus. His dad must be cool if no one is lying. If this were my dad hell would be freezing over right now. "Ok kids you know how I feel about it but I know it won't stop so I'll just leave the talk out of this. Oh Bella how would your dad feel if you knew what you were up to last night? I'm sure he doesn't know and it sucks as his friend to have to keep it from him so if you ever talk to me the way you did earlier I will inform him, get me?" Billy remarked, but it made Bella look scared to death.**

"**I'm sorry I talked like that. You know you're my other dad. Please don't tell my dad. I don't wanna go, well you know where." Where would she go if her dad found out? Oh well I guess if they wanted me to know she would have said it, but where ever it was had her scared shitless.**

**The rest of the weekend was ok once I got home. Saturday afternoon I just laid around with a hang over which I'm sure my mom noticed, but bless her heart didn't say anything about it. Today I helped her out in the Garden like a good son, sucking up to her. My mom asked where I was and I just said with friends at the beach but didn't go in to details. I didn't see my father all weekend, which was great for me since he rides my ass about everything.**

**As I started to fall asleep, I started wondering what tomorrow will bring if I can be just a friend to Bella without crossing that line with her. I realized she is a cool ass girl that I know I can be a friend with, but hell she is so damn sexy. I'm not sure I can do it without wanting to fuck her brains out, I guess only time will tell.**

**Now that brings me to my next problem: Tanya and Jessica. Apparently they didn't care about what they did with me or think that I'll stick with only them, as my cell kept going off with texts from them. Some of their offers I just might have to take them up on. I now truly understand why everyone calls them undercover sluts. I mean when I first saw them I thought they were goodie two shows, but I've known them a week, had them both on their knees and now they are offering a threesome and they call Bella every name in the book. I think they're just jealous since Bella has good friends and most of the guys in school want her, plus she is better looking then both of them. Oh well. I guess Bella doesn't seem to mind what they say so let them talk as long as the people who matter know the truth, that's all she cares about.**


	4. Chapter 4

BPOV

**Here it is, another Monday and I'm about to put my plan in motion. Edward will be begging on his knees for me, I'm the one to say no, not him, that's not how things work for me. I'm still not sure why his rejecting me is bothering me so badly but I'm going to make him regret it. Also for some reason I can't forget that kiss and the way it made me feel. No one has made me feel like that not even Jacob that knows me inside and out. Hell I couldn't even kiss him without thinking of Edward.**

**But as I get out of bed I know I have to look sexy as hell today so I get in the shower and quickly clean up using my strawberry shampoo and freesia body wash. I get out, wrap up in a towel, looking in the mirror and try to figure out what to do with my hair. After staring at myself for a while I decide to let it naturally curl with just a little gel to hold it so it doesn't get frizzy. After that is done I go to my closet, pull out the out fit I already had in mind. Denim Victoria Secret pink skirt that hits mid- thigh with a heart on the back pocket, white wife beater and yellow hoodie that says 'love pink' on the back. I lay them down on the bed and grab my black lace bra and hipsters, slid every thing on and grad my brown miss sixty Mary Jane pumps, put eye liner, mascara and lip gloss on. I look myself over once more then head out the door and head to school.**

**Once in the parking lot, I noticed Jake's car wasn't there then I saw Edward's Volvo with everyone standing around it talking. I headed over pushing my sunglasses up on my head. Alice noticed me first, a sly smile came across her face as she looked at what I had on, She knew I didn't wear heals to school. She walked over to me normally. "What are we so dressed up for today?" She asked sarcastically.**

"**Well I figured might as well try to look as good as my best girls," I said sucking up. She knew that wasn't why because I just didn't care what people thought of me.**

"**Yeah Bella it has nothing to do with Edward kissing you Friday, huh?" How the hell did she know that? She wasn't even out there! "You know Jake's not too happy about that, right? Neither is James." So that's how she knew! They had to go and be babies about it.**

"**Ok so maybe it does, but he said it was wrong. Might as well say he doesn't want me so I'm gonna get him where he's begging on his knees for me." Might as well admit it or she was gonna figure it out anyways like she always does. She just had a knowing smile on her face. God I wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers! "You guys would be so cute together! I can just see it now. No one would know what to do." She said bouncing up and down. I wish I knew where she got all her energy. **_**Wait what did she just say?**_** "No Alice, its not like that I don't want to date him, just make him want me." I said with a look that said 'duh' but it didn't stop her bounciness. She just said, "Ok we'll see about that." God damn, what is she going on about now?**

**As we got to the car Edward's jaw dropped downed which made me want to giggle. "Hey guys what's going on?" **

"**Not much girl, but you sure look good today," Edward said like I didn't look good any other time. I just nodded. **

"**Come on Alice lets head to class." We walked off and I could feel Edward's eyes on me the whole way. Good, got him right where I want him. Now I just got to keep him there.**

**Since Jacob wasn't there I sat right behind Edward and made sure to pull all the tricks I knew. I laid my hand on his shoulder and asked for a pencil. I had one in my bag, but he didn't need to know that. He leaned over to get in his and I made sure to uncross my legs then cross them again. I could tell he was staring because when he sat back up he handed me the pencil and shifted in his seat. I giggled and said thank you. I kept this up all day. Every time I saw him, I made sure to lightly touch him for one reason or another. God this is great, he'll be easier then I thought.**

**My plan was going just how I wanted it until the end of the day. When I walked out with Rose and Alice, I saw that he was getting in his car with Lauren. I stopped dead in my tracks, I was pissed. Why was I so mad about this I didn't really want him did I? No I didn't want him then why am I mad? Oh I know! I'm the one that got him all hot and bothered all day not her. Well I guess I'll just have to step up my game. That boy won't be able to think of anyone else when I'm done with him.**

**The whole week went the same way. I flirted, looked great, even tried the jealousy card by hanging on Jake more then normal, but nothing. He pretty much avoided me as much as he could. By Friday I was done. I found the one guy that I wanted to want me and he didn't so I just wore fleece broad shorts and a hoodie with my hair up and no makeup and for some reason that made him want to talk to me more then he had all week. By lunch I was so confused I didn't know what was up and what was down. So as I sat here trying to figure everything out, everyone else was talking about who knows what.**

**When I felt my phone vibrate I jumped. Who the hell would be calling me now? When I looked it was Em. "Hey what's going on wh-" was all I got out when he cut me off. "Hey Bells you with everyone else?" He asked, sounding like a kid in a candy shop. What the hell is with people today? "Yeah I am why do-"**

"**Put it on speaker then," he said once again, cutting me off. "Ok hold on." I pulled my phone from my ear looking at it like as if it could give me all the answers.**

"**Hey guys I think Em wants to talk to us all." I said while still looking at the phone and pressing the button. "Ok everyone is there right?"**

"**Yes now what do you want" I was getting pissed by this point "Well guys its gonna storm are we all up for some football?" Ok now I get it. I looked at everyone and they were all nodding, Edward looked confused but still nodded. "Ok looks like we are all in. What time?" "Right after school. Meet here." he said and hung up. Shutting my phone I started to feel excited again.**

"**Why are we playing football in a storm?" Edward asked "Well it's just something we've done forever, you better wear something you don't mind getting dirty, cause believe me it will." Alice told him as us girls got up. I haven't been going off with Jake this last week. I know he's starting to wonder what's up since we never go this long without being together. "Hey Jake can I talk to you a minute?" I said. He got this big smile. Great now he thinks I mean something else. So I quickly added, "at my car." The smile left his face.**

**As I walked out I looked back once to make sure he was coming with me as everyone else looked stunned. Once we were at my car I just leaned on the hood. Jake looked like he was gonna be sick. "What do you want to talk about Bells?"**

"**Look Jake, I think you should give Leah a real chance," he just looked at me rolling my words in his head, I guess.**

"**What do you mean? I thought we had our thing?" he finally said.**

"**Yeah we did, but I think it would be good if you gave her a shot. She really likes you and you should be with someone who wants more," I said. He looked madder the more I talked.**

"**Why so you can go be with that Jackass James?" How did he come to that? I haven't done anything with him in months.**

"**What are you talking about?" I finally asked. **

"**We haven't done anything since before the party a week ago so I figure James finally got you to be with only him," he finally explained. What the hell is wrong with everyone around me?**

"**Jake it isn't like that with me and him, you know that," I said.**

"**Well you may not think so but he wants more from you too," he said. Ok, either I'm dreaming or everyone has gone crazy because this day has just been strange. I just shock my head at him and walked to class. The rest of my class I did nothing but think. Did James want more from me and I was just too blind to see? No that can't be. We both agreed to this thing, plus he knows most of my flaws. He couldn't want me. Did I want him like that? Had I led him on some how? No I didn't and I told him from the get go where we stood so what the hell is Jake talking about? I hadn't even realized the day was finally over until I pulled up to Emmett's. Fuck how did I ever make it here?**

**James was standing at the door when I got up the steps to the house. Ok here goes time to end it with him too.**

"**Hey Bella," he said as I walked in. "Hey why don't we talk in the kitchen," I said. Heading to the kitchen, I sat on the island swinging my feet. "What do you want to talk about?" he said looking worried.**

"**Well I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I'm tired of all this." I paused waving my hand between us so he knew what I was talking about. He looked hopefully for some reason. "And I think you should give Angel a real chance instead of just sleeping with her when you see Sam." Then he looked mad. What is it with guys being mad at me?**

"**Why would I do that?" He managed. "Well don't you think it would be better for Sam if you guys were together?" He knew I was right. He's told me a few times he wished things were different, now I was stepping out of the way. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'm headed over there tonight. I'll talk to her about giving us another shot." He said as he walked away from me. Now see? Jacob is crazy. James didn't want me. If he did he would have been upset not agreeing with me.**

**When we were playing football I was able to get my anger out on the boy's. Well I should say Edward since Jacob didn't show up and James went to see Sam. So we played guys against girls and us girls were whipping the shit out of them. Maybe because they wouldn't tackle us since we were girls or we were just better. I'm thinking the first. But we weren't afraid to take them down. I took Edward down every chance I got. I think he was getting mad but oh well. By the end we won by one touchdown so we were happy. Now here I am covered in mud in my bathroom getting ready to end this crazy day. After my shower I crawl in bed and for some reason all I can think about is fucking Edward. What is wrong with me? I never think about a boy this much. They are good for one thing and that's it.**

**EPOV**

It's been two months since school started and I am sitting here getting fucked up thinking things are great we all party every chance we get. Bella and me have become really good friends. We have a lot in common; same taste in music, books and better yet she gets my sense of humor. We joke around all the time, its great. I've learned a lot about her. Renee, her mother, left her four years ago, she has trust issues which she wouldn't tell me why, but oh well. I'm sure she'll tell me when she's ready, she is smart and has so many plans for her life. She loves photography she is always taking pictures of our friends, and the world around her, but their not like most picture you see of people. When you look at them its like you see that person's soul. I don't know how Bella does it but they are gallery material and I tell her all the time that she should go to school for it but she tells me its just a hobby and that not many people have seen her work. Us being friends sometimes gets seen as it being more by others but its not.

After our second week I didn't think I could even be friends with her. Every day she just dressed sexier and I was hard all day, everyday, and just wanted to rip her clothes off and have my way with her. I tried to stay away from her as much as I could but then that Friday she just changed. She came to school in normal clothes, not even trying to look good, but oh god, it made Bella look even better. She wasn't the type that needed all the sexy clothes with her hair and make up done to make me want her. Bella ended things with both Jake and James. When I ask her why she just shrugs her shoulders like its no big deal, which is weird since her and Jacob had a things for a while. They are still best friends and talk but that's it. Jacob is now with a girl named Leah but doesn't seem happy about it. Leah seems like a cold bitch when you first met her but she ok to be around. From what I hear James is back with Angel his daughter's mom but I've never seen her.

In the time that Bella and I have been hanging out that broken look has seemed to go away a little and you know what I haven't thought of Jane in that time either, which is great. Alice thinks it would be great if Bella and I dated, which honestly I wouldn't mind. She really is a kick ass girl and I'm slowly finding myself having feeling for her, as much as I'm trying to fight them I can't help it. We always have a good time together, but Bella keeps telling Alice 'you know I don't date.'

"Hey man," Jake said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Hey what's been up?" I ask trying to figure out why he's talking to me. We only talk if we have to. "Well I was wondering what's up with you and Bells?" Oh so that's why.

"We're friends what's it to you?" I mean I know their friends but why did it really matter what was going on between us not that there is. "Just looking out for my girl." "Dude she isn't your girl and last time I check she was a big girl and could handle her own," I spat at him. I don't really understand what his problem is. This hasn't been the first time he has said this to me. Did he really think I would let something happen to her? He got up in my face this time.

"Yeah Eddie boy. She can take care of herself but there is things that has happened to her that you'll never know and I will always look after her to make sure it doesn't happen again." and with that he walked away. Ok I really have to figure this out. This isn't the first time Jake or anyone else has said something happened to her and it's starting to piss me off. I do know its something bad cause the last few nights Bella has came up the back steps to my room wanting me to hold her saying that I help take the bad dreams away.

I walk over grab another drink and look for Em. He seems to know more that he's not telling me. Maybe I can get it out of him. I spot him on the back porch alone so here's my chance. I walk out and lean against the railing.

"Hey Em I got a question for you," he turned to me and said, "What would that be?" "Well you guys keep saying that something happened to Bella, but never really say what it was. So what happened?" He was looking at me now but looked lost in a memory. "Well you know Edward I would tell you if I really knew, but come with me, I'll tell you what I do know." He stood up and we walked back inside heading to the garage, knowing that no one would come in there. Plus it wasn't as noisy. He leaned against the workbench and motioned for me to do the same. I have never seen him look this serious so I knew it had to be bad. Finally, he started talking.

"Ok so you know her mom left four years ago right?" I nodded so he kept going "For the first year after she left, Bella was fine since she didn't want to go with Renee anyways, but then right around the year mark she starting talking about how Bella should come live with her so Renee and Phil, which is her step dad, could look like the perfect family, but Bella wanted nothing to do with it. Anyways, Bella started drinking more then about a week before whatever happened she really started drinking all day everyday. She would sleep long enough to sober up a little then go right back to drinking"

I looked over at Em and it looked like it hurt him to be remembering all this. He had his eyes closed and fist balled up.

"It was to the point that she wouldn't remember things she did the night before. None of us knew what to do for her. If we tried to get her to talk, she pushed us away so Jacob made sure to keep an eye on her. He's always been in love with her so he had to make sure nothing bad happened, ya know?" When he finished, he looked at me I just nodded to get him to keep going.

"Well one night we were all partying. We were all pretty lit up, but Bella was the worst. Anyway, Jake was looking for Bella, but couldn't find her anywhere. I'm not really sure what happened but the next thing I knew James was beating the shit out of his buddy, Alec, and Jake was carrying a passed out Bella out the door. None of us knew what was going on, but it seemed James and Jacob were the only two that knew. We tried asking James, but he wouldn't tell us anything and for a week after whatever happened, Bella wasn't at school and never told us what happened, but after that she did a lot of things that wasn't like her at all. About six months later she started doing coke a lot then the meaningless sex came around the same time, and now she who she is today."

When he was done he just walked away from me and back to the party. Ok so I guess that doesn't tell me what happened but now I understand Jacob's problem. First he's in love with her and second whatever happened to her, he wasn't there to stop it, but what could it be? So not being able to figure it out, I made my way back into the party to find Bella grinding on the last person I thought I would see here and wonder why the hell he was here at all. Bella and I locked eyes and as pissed as I was to see him, I didn't want to walk over to where he was, but I had to. It was like she was pulling me to her.

**BPOV**

Well here we are two months into school and it has been a great year so far, other than the fact that most of the guys know I'm not with Jake anymore so they keep hitting on me, which is just starting to piss me off. I'm trying to be nice about turning them down, but their not getting it, whatever. I guess I'll just be a bitch about it from now on. But what's great about it is Edward and I have become good friends when he's not acting like God's gift to women. He's really a sweetheart; we talk about everything and nothing at all. I've even shown him my pictures I haven't ever shown anyone, other then my silly ones that mean nothing at all, but he doesn't know that. As much as we try not to, we blur the lines a lot without even realizing it. I mean I've been sleeping in his bed for the past few night because I keep dreaming about that night. I want to forget it and for the last three years I've been able to do that, but for some reason the closer I get to Edward, the more I have them. It started out once a week now its almost every night.

_Flashback_

We were all sitting around just hang out watching movies drinking a little at Emmett and James's house like we do once a week. This week James had his friend Alec over. He was cute and I had a crush on him, but he was older then me so I knew that he would never like me, but tonight was different. He spent most of the night talking with me. I thought he really liked me. At the end of the night, we get each other's numbers. I knew that the boys wouldn't like it so I told him not to say anything to them, which he agreed to.

We spent the next few weeks talking on the phone hanging out without the group around, never doing anything, but holding hands, and pecks here and there. We were talking on the phone one night late. "Hey Alec what made you start talking to me?" I asked. "Well why wouldn't I, Bella, baby you're hot." He said, but I still didn't understand why he just started talking to me. I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that I just started dressing so you could tell I was starting to get a body or if he really liked me, but I didn't really care. I had someone who was hot and wanted to be with me.

This went on for about six months and we started to get drunk together a lot more and got more sexual with each other. By this point we had done everything but sex and I wasn't ready for that. He told me that was ok but then he started pulling away from me not calling or being busy when I called. When he started to not want see me anymore, I realized that he didn't like me at all, just wanted in my pants so I started to drink pretty heavy, well to the point of blacking out, but I didn't care that way I didn't think about it. I mean I really liked him even though he was just using me. But the night of that party there he was hanging all over Tanya. We had never got along so I was pissed and hurt. To deal with it, I just drank more. Hell I don't know how much I had, but like I said, I didn't care.

I knew Jake was looking for me but I was hiding from him since he was trying to find out what was wrong with me. I made my way up the stair to the bathroom starting to feel sick, but once I walked in I felt even sicker. Alec had Tanya on her knees sucking him off and when he saw me standing there he smiled at me the said, "Oh yeah, Tanya baby, your so good at this. It's the best I've ever had." I couldn't move as much as I wanted to. It felt like my feet grew roots in the floor. He let her finish, pushed her away then walked over and kissed me. I tried to push him off me and when he did let me go all he said was

"Hey Bella baby." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He just got head from someone else then calls me that. That's all it took. I ran to the toilet and throw up everything that I had in me. I couldn't move afterwards so I just laid my head on the cool ream of it. I must have passed out cause the next thing I knew I felt hands in my hair jerking me back. It hurt like hell but I didn't have anything left in me to fight it. Who ever it was jerked me down on the floor and roughly grabbed my legs and pulled them apart. I knew I would have bruises but for the life of me I couldn't care. I just couldn't understand why they were doing this to me.

I blacked out again so I don't know what happened after that. The next thing I was in my room in my bed and Jake was with me. I asked what happened and all he would tell me was that he walked in on Alec on top of me and we were both naked from the waist down. He asked what happened and I couldn't tell him since I didn't know. He kept telling he was going tell Charlie. I couldn't have that he would send me away. That night as I took a shower I knew I was raped. There was blood in my panties and I was so sore but I didn't tell Jake any of that.

_Flashback over_

Jake still doesn't know what happened I told him that I didn't think Alec did anything before he got there. I started to wonder if I'm dreaming about it because I'm starting to like Edward as more then a friend.

"Hey there my Bella," Alice's sing song voice pulled me from my thoughts. I don't know how long I had been sitting here, but I do know my bottle of Jack is gone and was full when I sat down out here as the party went on inside. I didn't feel like being around all the people here, I just wanted to get fucked up and call it a night but what do you know my friends wouldn't let that happened. "Bella? Hello? You still with us?" Alice said again, waving her hand in my face. That's when I realized I didn't answer her.

"Yeah Ali I'm here. What do you need?"

"Well I just wanted to tell you there was some sexy mother fucker in here looking for Edward. I wondered if you knew where he was." Huh I hadn't seen him in awhile. I think the last time Jake was in his face.

"No Alice I don't. I'll go see if I can find him for you." I told her. As I made my way back in, I spotted a guy standing in the doorway. I have never seen him before. Whoever is looking for Edward will just have to wait until I find out just who the hell this man is. I mean how could I not? He was maybe 5'9 slender with light brown hair and hazel eyes and a nice body. I walked over, put my hand on his arm and said,

"Hey haven't seen you before what to dance?" He locked eyes with me then lead me out to dance. We didn't say anything just danced grinding on each other for a few songs, then I looked up to see Edward walking in from the garage. We locked eyes and man did he look pissed off. I didn't know why but then he broke our gaze and looked at the guy I was dancing with. It looked like he wanted to tear him apart limb-by-limb and I didn't know why.

When he made it over to me he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him tucking me into his side. He looked to the guy and said, "Felix what the fuck are you doing here?" So this was the guy that was looking for Edward, then why didn't he look happy to see this Felix guy? Felix had an evil smile on his face looked at me and then back to Edward.

"Well dear cousin can't I just come see you with out wanting something?" He looked back at me and winked. I felt Edward stiffen beside me and lunged at Felix. They both landed on the ground then Edward punched him square in the nose. I heard the snapping sound, seeing the blood from Felix's nose drip out. Felix punched him in the jaw but that was the last swing he got in. Edward just kept hitting anywhere he could get his fist to make contact. He went to swing again and I was scared shitless. I thought he was going to kill this guy and that's when I grabbed his arm. He looked at me and must have seen how scared I was.

"Oh god Bella. I'm so sorry " He said as he got up and put his arms around me. "Edward who is that and way did you beat the shit out of him?" was all I could say. Edward pulled me until we were outside leaving a bloody Felix on the floor. "Ok Bella listen to me stay away from him." I wanted answers not a lecture.

"Ok I'll stay away from if you tell me what just happened," I was pleading to him with my eyes. "Ok his name is Felix, He's my cousin. I have no clue why he's here but please I'm begging you stay away for him." He looks so helpless over what he was saying and I couldn't deny him anything so I nodded.

"Oh thank you," he said as he wrapped me in his arms. I wanted to know more but didn't want to push him right now. Just then Em walked out "Ok I don't know who that was but we got him out of here." Edward just nodded his head without letting me go. It felt as if he does let go, I'll disappear. I just wish that he knew that I'm by his side no matter what because it feels like I'm meant to be with him. But I know I'm going to have to figure out what's going on with him. Emmett just looked at us strangely trying to figure out what was going on. I shrugged my shoulders because I had no clue either. That's all Em seemed to need because he turned around and walked back in the door. I saw all of our friends standing there watching us with worried faces, but I wasn't worried about them right now, so I smiled a little and put my arms around Edward, praying that it would calm him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bpov**

After Edward finally calmed down I tried again to ask him what was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me, he just started drinking more. I've never seen him like this. Something must have happened for him to hate his cousin that much. He also kept an eye on me all night. At one point Alice came up to me, "Hey Bella what was that all about and who was that guy?" I just shrugged my shoulders. It's not my place to say anything not that I know anything anyways.

By four in the morning Edward was so drunk he could hardly stand so I warped my arms around his waist to help him up the stairs to the guest room at Em's. He wanted to drive him, but I had already taken his keys earlier in the night as well as stopped his drinking. Something just told me that Edward would need taken care of and that none of the others would do it, not that they didn't like him, its just the way they are. We fought for a few minutes but he finally gave in and let me take him up.

It was quite funny me being 5'4 and 110 pounds trying to help Edward, who is six foot, up the stairs. It was challenging but we got there. When we finally got there I plopped him on the bed and took his shoes off. I turned to walk out the door when I heard him ask me to stay. I knew it was wrong and I would feel bad about it later but I took advantage of his drunken state, so I said, "Ok Edward I'll stay, but you have to tell me what that was all about."

He looked at me for a moment and shook his head. I thought he was going to change his mind and not want me to stay that was until he started talking. "Ok well I can't stand him. He's a backstabbing asshole. There will you stay now?"

"Fine I'll stay, but we will talk about this at some point," he just nodded and reached his arms out to me. When I walked to them he pulled me on to the bed. I threw my shoes on the floor and snuggled on to my side facing away from him. I laid there for a while trying to figure out what could have happened. I swear Edward was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. I couldn't figure it out. Edward has never said anything that could help me figure it out so I gave up. I was about to fall asleep when Edward rolled over put his arm around me and pulled me into him. That what was all it took for me to be out like a light. I always felt safe when I'm with him.

When I woke up the next morning Edward wasn't in bed anymore. I felt so lonely without him with me. I felt almost lost like he was the other half of me and that I just wasn't whole without him around. Honestly it scared the shit outta me. I swore to myself that I would never need a man around to feel whole that I was perfect by myself. I used to believe that everyone has a soul mate that completed him or her, but that all changed when I cared about Alec and he did what he did now. I believe there is only way to not get hurt and that is to stay an arms length from everyone, even my friends.

As I made my way down the stairs I ran into the last person I thought I would at the bottom, James. I stopped dead in my tracks. Its not that I didn't want to be around him I just felt something off about him lately like the fact that he says he's giving Angel a chance, but he's always here and on the weekends he is with his daughter over here. I mean how are they working on things if they are never together?

"Hey Bella how are you?" James asked.

"Oh you know the same ole," I said hoping he would just leave it at that, but no.

He puts his arms around me, kissed my earlobe then said "Well I'm always here if you need some fun."

I pushed him back and said, "No thank you," then walked away and into the kitchen to see everyone, but Edward sitting at the table.

After grabbing a glass of water and two Advil, I sat with them. Everyone was looking at me like they were waiting for me to talk. Alice was the first to talk "So B did you figure out what that shit was about last night?" I knew that was what they wanted to know so I figured I'd tell them what little I knew. "Ok guy all I know is that the guy was Felix and his Edward's cousin and that he wants me to stay away from him. He also said he was a backstabber. There, now you guys know just as much as I do." I said looking at each one of them.

I noticed Alice had that evil look in her eye, which I didn't understand. Rose didn't care like always, Jasper nodded. When I looked at Em he had a blank look on his face. "Hey Em what's up?" he looked up at me and I saw some sort of emotion in his eyes, but it was there then gone so quick that I couldn't tell what it was.

"Nothing," he said smiling and shaking his head but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Ok now I'm worried. I've only seen that look on him when he is thinking about when I started to change. I didn't want to go there again so I quickly got up, started towards the door and shouted that I'd see them later as I walked out.

On the drove home I tried calling Edward a couple of times but he didn't answer, which was odd. He always answers when I call. Something big must be going on or he's avoiding me so he doesn't have to talk about last night. As I pulled in I saw the cruiser sitting in the driveway so I popped a mint in my mouth before heading in the door. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen on the phone so I just started walking up the stairs until I heard "Yes Renee I know." I turned back around stepping down the few stairs and headed into the kitchen. "Oh yeah she just walked in. Want to talk to her?"

I shook my head no. I didn't want to talk to her, but he shoved the phone in my hand, mouthed 'I'm sorry' before he walked out the door. I sat down, took a deep breath before I said, "Hello Renee. How about we make this short? I know why you're calling and I'm happy right where I'm at so thank you for asking once again." I know it seemed mean, but I didn't want to talk to her about moving again, then I heard the sniffing in the phone.

"Bella Dear it has nothing to do about that" she paused "your grandma Phyllis passed away last night." I didn't know what else to do but cry. I hadn't seen my grandma since everything happened to me.

"Mom how did it happened?" I didn't want to know but had to ask.

"She's been sick for awhile now, but she went peacefully in her sleep. If you want I can fly you down here Wednesday for everything then you can go home after." Wow she isn't trying to get me to stay that's good.

"That sounds good call me with the details. I love you, bye" was all I could say as I hung up.

When are things going to get better? It seems like I've fucked up my life so much and there's no turning back time to change things. I need to talk to Edward now was all I thought as I dialed his number once again. He didn't answer so I left a message. "Edward can you please call me when you get this. I need to talk to you," I said with a sob, then hung up. I walked into the living room and Charlie had his arm raised up for me to come to him. I sat on his lap like I did when I was a little girl and cried as he rubbed my back, telling me stories about when I was little and how grandma spoiled me rotten since I was the only grandchild and how my mom and dad would get so mad about it. I listened until I couldn't anymore. I got up went to my room, crawled into bed, and sobbed until I fell asleep holding the teddy bear grams gave me.

**EPOV**

I woke up this morning curled up with Bella. I loved waking up with her. I had a major headache but I knew I had to get out of here before anyone else woke up so they didn't ask me anything about last night. I threw my shoes on and was out the door, while everyone still slept. I thought I was in the clean as I got to me car only to notice James leaning on the tree by my door. I nodded as I climbed in and prayed that he would just leave it be, but no, I couldn't get that lucky.

He opened his mouth and said, "You know acting jealous isn't going to get you anywhere with Bella. She doesn't know how to be in a relationship so don't get your hopes up, plus she comes running back to me when things get tough again." I wanted to punch him but instead I said the same lie I've been telling everyone.

"You know James we're just friends and that's all we'll ever be. She's free to do whatever she wants," with that I shut my door and sped off. The more I think about it, it's best that we are just friends. Things would never work between us. I can't even tell her of my past. Hell just when I was starting to forget about Jane, Felix had to show back up.

As I pulled in my driveway I noticed a Black BMW sitting there. I knew it had to be his. I threw my car in park and made my way to the door. As I stepped inside I felt like someone knocked all the wind out of me. There sitting in my new house where I had my new life, sat my old life, Jane, with my mother and father on the couch closes to the door, and Felix and her on the love seat holding hands. It looked like she had been crying but she looked just the same as she did the last time. I saw her with her dark almost black hair to her chin, wide gray eyes and full lips. The only difference was last time I saw her she was slimmer. I growled and tried to walk pass them, but father dearest wouldn't allow it, and stepped in front of me.

"Well well look what the cat dragged in. We're shocked to see you here already. I figured you'd be hung over and out all day," he said looking mighty proud of him self for figuring out that I've been drinking when I know that fucker ratted on me. "Yeah I'm home. Now if you don't mind I'd like to go to my room." I tried to push passed him but he wouldn't let me. Esme was the next to talk. "Edward will you please sit down so we can talk to you a moment?" she said in a worried voice. Why do I feel like I'm not gonna like where this talk goes? But I can't ever hurt my mother so I sat down in the couch next to Esme, nodding my head for someone to start talking and it just had to be father dearest.

"Well your aunt called us yesterday to inform us that Jane here is pregnant and needed to leave Chicago so we stated that her and Felix could come stay here at least until the baby is born since it's a small town and there won't be the trouble that new places like this would cause back home," he said. My eyes bugged out of my head. _He's got to be kidding me!_ "You're kidding, right?" I asked. He shook his head then I looked at my mom. She still had that worried look in her eyes and I knew it was true.

I jumped up, "You want me to be ok with my ex, that I had hoped to spend my life with who got knocked up by my cousin, staying here? You've got to be kidding me!" was all I said as I went to my room slamming the door. What was my family thinking? Did they really think I would be ok with this? Watching them together? Didn't they see that I was finally starting to be happy again? Bella tried calling a few times but I couldn't talk to her so I turned my phone off. I didn't know what to say to her so I just lay, staring at the ceiling for hours. Esme tried getting me to eat something, but I refused. I didn't want to see them.

About two I finally cooled down for the most part so I figured I'd call and see what Bella wanted. When I turned my phone I noticed I had a message so I listened to it. It was from Bella she sounded like she was crying and said she needed to talk to me. My mind ran wild. What happened for her to be crying? I quickly dialed her cell and got no answer so I called the home phone. After two rings chief Swan answered. "Hello"

"Hello chief Swan is Bella there?" I asked.

"Yes is she sleeping. She got some bad news today. If you tell me who is calling I'll let her know when she gets up" he told me.

"I'm sorry sir, but this is Edward. She called and said she wanted to talk to me." I said hoping that he would wake her up.

"I'm sorry Edward, but as I said before she is sleeping. I'll let her know you called. Goodbye," he said then I heard the line go dead so I just kept calling her cell. I was pacing around my room at this point. I wanted to jump in my car and go to her but I knew that the chief wouldn't let me. That's when it hit me. I knew who he would let it no matter what. I quickly dialed the number and after two rings I heard a cheerful "Hello"

"Hey Ali this is Edward. Bella got some bad new and wanted to talk to me, but Charlie won't wake her up. Will you go over there for me to see how she is, and have her call me?" I said in one breath.

"Oh god I'm on my way," with that she hung out. Now all I have to do is pace until she calls me. Will she even call? She must think I blew her off.

&%&%&%&%&&%&%&%&%&%

About an hour later my phone rang. I didn't even look to see who it was when I answered it.

"Hello?" I could hear sobbing in the phone

"Edward its Alice. I need you here now. Tell Charlie I said I needed you."

"Ok Ali I'll be there in ten min," I told her and hung up. I was half way out my bedroom and by this point I knew if Alice couldn't calm her down it had to be bad. Esme tried to stop me at the front door, asking where I was going. I told her I was going out and walked out. I felt bad for being so short with her but I had to get to Bella. Seven minutes I was knocking at Bella's front door and a very tired Charlie answered. Before he could say anything I said,

"Alice said she needed me here to help Bella," I rushed it out. He just stepped out of the way and pointed up the stairs. I ran up them two at a time. When I walked in Bella's door, the sight before me broke my heart. She was sitting on her bed curled in a ball holding her knees, rocking back and forth, tears running down her cheeks. I took two steps to her and wrapped her up in my arms. When she looked up she just throw her arms around my neck and held me for dear life. I rubbed her back to get her to calm down. We sat like this for a half an hour when she suddenly pushed me away, running into the bathroom I heard her throwing up. I looked over at Alice that looked so scared and worried for her friend before I walked in to help Bella. She was laying on the cold tile.

I kneeled down, "Bella, love, what happened?" I asked in a soft voice

"Grams died. I've fucked my life up. I hurt everyone that's near me," she yelled at me. "No you don't love," was all I could say that just seemed to piss her off. She sat straight up.

"EDWARD YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCK US UP TOO," she screamed at me. I didn't know what else to do so I just turned and left. She doesn't want me either. Just like Jane, she wants me gone. I walked past Alice not saying anything and ran out to my car.

When are things going to get better? It seems like I've fucked up my life so much can't I finally be happy? I thought as I drove off.

**BPOV**

Oh god I can't believe I went off on Edward like that, but I knew it had to be done. When Alice showed up here I was so pissed that it wasn't Edward. He was the only one I wanted there that's when I realized that I was falling in love with him, which is fine. I can love him as long as he doesn't love me because I would fuck us up like I have everything else in my life. When he held me I just held on to him for dear life. I know it would only be a matter of time before I hurt him without trying just like I have my other friends. Just thinking about it made me sick.

I pushed him off me and ran to the bathroom to throw up everything I drank the night before. I was so hot I just had to lay on the cold tile. It felt so good. I heard Edward come in, but didn't look at me. He knelt down beside me, "Bella, love, what happened?" I was shocked that he called me love, but I figured he was just trying to calm me down.

"Grams died. I've fucked my life up. I hurt everyone that's near me," I yelled at him. I couldn't help it. Then he said "No you don't love." That's when I realized he must be calling me love without realizing it, but it has to come from somewhere. Maybe he loves me just don't know it yet so I did the one thing I knew would hurt him and leave me alone.

I yelled, "EDWARD YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCK US UP TOO." After I said it I regretted it. He looked so sad, but I couldn't take it back. There was so much about me he didn't know. I couldn't let him get close to me. I would hurt him or he would hurt me. I'm not sure which but I just knew it couldn't happen.

I walked out the bathroom and Alice was still sitting on my bed. "Alice you can go be with Jazz I'm fine," I told her. She knew I was lying, hell I knew I was lying. I couldn't lie very well. "Bella your not fine, but I'll leave anyways because I'm sure you want to be alone," and she was right I did want to be alone, but not for the reason she thought.

There was one thing I wanted to do right now and I couldn't let her see me do it. We hugged as she got up and left. I sat on my bed thinking. I knew I shouldn't do what I was about to, but I couldn't help it. It was my way of getting through things. Has been for a while now and none of my friends knew that I know of anyway. I'm not sure how I kept it from them but I have. I reached under my bed pulled out a bag of pot and a bowl packing it to the rim. Sitting in my bed, I lit it and smoked until I was so far gone I didn't care anymore then walked to my closet. I knew what I had to do and I would hate it. I slipped on a red Cami-Corset with embroidery and lace trim, a jean mini skirt, and red ¼ inch mini platform ankle wrap sandal with a 4 ½ inch stiletto heel. My hair was already waving so I just fluffed it up a little and headed out the door after telling Charlie that I would be back.

I texted everyone to meet me at Em's. This was going be the hardest thing I would ever do. Telling my life long friends that I was thinking of leaving them, but maybe if I left I could get my shit together so I don't feel like a fuck up all the time. My life here is great but I know my friends worry way too much about me. Most times worrying about me before themselves.

**Jampov**

Everyone was sitting in my living room waiting for Bella and no one knew what the hell it was all about other then she wanted to talk to us. So I had to sit here with not only Edward that wanted Bella, but also Jake, which I've been trying to get away from Bella for a little over a year now, along with everyone else. Jake just kept smiling like he knew what was coming, but I knew he didn't.

I've watch his and Bella's relationship since she told me we had to stop whatever it was we were doing, I've noticed that she hasn't been running to Jacob when she needed someone, but to Edward. Which I noticed looked like someone just killed his puppy and put it in his car, Alice looks worried out of her mind with Jasper rubbing her back, and Em and Rose are in their own little world. I think it's about time to see if anyone knows what the hell is up

"Ok we are all here to talk to Bella right? Does anyone know why?" I asked.

"I don't know but I just left her house and I can tell what ever it she has to say is gonna be bad," Alice said.

Well hell that didn't help me out any. Just then the door opened then closed and Bella was standing in front of us. Once I looked at her I knew that today would change everything. Not only was she dressed sexy as hell, but I also noticed her blood shot eyes. I've known for a while that if she was high something was wrong, but before anyone could say anything she held up a hand showing she didn't want us to talk. She started talking while pacing.

"Ok guys you all know I love you and that we've know each other forever, well other than you Edward sorry. As well as you all have helped with all the fucked up shit that has went wrong in my life, well I have come to realize that you guys worry too much about me at times and that there are some things you just can't help me with so Renee called today. Grams died and I am leaving Wednesday to go to Florida and fuck. I don't know how to say this, but I really don't know if I am coming back. I think I need some time to get my head together be in a new place where no one know me and start fresh," with that she didn't even let us say anything to her. She just turned around and was back out the door.

I can't let her leave. I am so in love with Angel that it's not funny. "We have to figure out at way to stop her," was all I could say after the shock wore off.

**EPOV**

I heard every word Bella had to say. I couldn't believe it. She was leaving. She didn't even give us a chance to talk her out of it just turned and walked back out the door, not even chancing a glance at anyone of us. James said we have to stop her, but she is so hard headed I don't think anything any of us had to say would stop her. Once she had a plan she stuck by it. Everyone was making plans on how they could stop her, from tying her up to following her to Florida.

I just got up and walked out to my car and just drove around thinking. I know there is something that draws me to her. Something I can't explain and don't even want to try. It terrifying and so strong that no matter how hard I try I can't help but want to be around her. It's nothing like I felt for Jane and I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It feels like I can't breath if I can't see or talk to Bella I don't think I will be able to make it if she leaves.

I drove around for god knows how long but found myself back at home. I really didn't want to fucking be here but I guess just like everything in my life I can't have what I want. I walked in and went right to my room. I didn't want to talk or see anyone, just want to be alone to think.

It felt like I was missing apart of me but can't figure out what. All I could hear in my head was Bella screaming 'EDWARD YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCK US UP TOO. What was so bad that she thought she couldn't tell me and how could she fuck us up? I realize now that as much as I wanted to hate Bella right at this moment for being the scared little girl, I saw so many times or for leaving before we even had a chance to see what was there, I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

Just then I heard a knock on the balcony door. It made me jump. Who would be there? As I looked at the clock and couldn't believe it was already midnight. I have been up here all day. I heard the knock again and went to the door what I say next surprised the shit outta me.


	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV**

_**Gotta keep this fast pace, running from my feelings.  
**__**When I slow down I get to thinking...too much for me to deal with.  
**__**Anything with feelings, I just rather not.  
**__**Love is a game I regret I played...  
**__**Gotta keep this fast pace to overcome my pain.**_

After I told my friends that I was leaving I couldn't stand to hear what they had to say. I knew they would all try to talk me into staying but I know I can't. I have too many problems that they know nothing about as well as habits that I need to quit. They all think I stopped doing coke but I haven't. They don't know I get high, they don't know the real reason I am so fucked up. To be honest I don't think I could tell any of them. I blame myself over what happened with Alec just as much as I blame him. If I hadn't drank that much, if I had just had sex with him or just some of the things I think. If I leave then I can deal with all my demons without them knowing.

I went to my meadow with my bottle and drink a whole 5th of Jack just sitting there thinking about everything. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop thinking about how great it felt to be held in Edward's arms, or how I really wanted to tell all my secrets to him because in my heart, I knew he wouldn't judge me, or think differently, just be the same around me. I sat there until the sun was setting and walked back to my car just sitting in it until it was dark. Sitting there I knew I had to at least tell Edward why I was leaving and all the demons about myself then at least it was out there and I no longer felt that I was being anything other then myself around him or lying to him about anything.

Just before I walked up to his stairs it started pouring rain. How fitting for what was about to happen. I knocked lightly on his door; he looked shocked to see me. I went right to his couch as soon as I walked in. Now that I'm here I feel the fear of having to tell him about everything.

"Bell your soaked. Here put these on." I looked up to see him holding a pair of boxers and a wife beater. Grabbing them up I walked in the bathroom to change. I still haven't said anything. Edward has to think I'm crazy.

When I walked back out Edward was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands and his eyes closed. I took a moment to really look at the man sitting in front of me. His bronze hair always looked like he was freshly fucked, but I know it was from him running his hand through it when he was thinking, or worried about something. He had pale skin but not sickly pale, he truly looked like he was carved from stone. Why would he want someone as messed up as me when he could have any one he wanted? Just as I thought that I turned to run away like I always do, but the door creaked a little. His head shot up and eyes opened and locked with mine. Right then I knew I had to tell him even if he hated me after I finally had to open up and trust that not every man would hurt me or let me fall.

"Love you are really starting to worry me," his velvet voice said.

"I'm sorry. I'm here to finally let you see all of me. Not just the face I let everyone else see, but you have to promise to let me say everything before you say anything else. Can you do that?" I pleaded with my eyes as well as my voice. If I was going to get it all out I needed him to just let me talk. He nodded his head and said, "You tell me what ever you have to then I will talk after, ok?" I nodded and that's all I needed. I took a deep breath and began to talk.

" Ok I know you have heard many times that I wasn't always the way I am now and that something changed me and I'm sure you've asked our friends why but no one knows right?" he just nodded again. I know he had, everyone does at some point.

"Ok well I used to be the girl that trusted in everyone, had fun but not get out of hand. I knew my point I was ok with it and didn't push it. Before my mom left I knew it was coming. I would walk into a room and she would get right off the phone, almost hanging up on who ever was on the phone. I got home one afternoon, she didn't hear me come in and I heard her say 'oh Phil I love you too and we'll be together soon.' I knew she was going to leave and I chose to stay with my dad. I don't know how long she was cheating on Charlie, but didn't care. My life, my friends, my everything was here. I made peace with her leaving. After she left, Jake kept thinking I was going to break down, but I never did."

I looked up to him to see if he really wanted to hear anymore. That was the easy part now comes the hard part. He was watching me, waiting for me to keep going. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. I could already feel the tears forming and really didn't want to cry. I can't show weakness right now I have to be strong to be able to tell the whole story.

"Right after she left is when we all started partying. We would hang out once a week and have fun. James would have his friends over and I noticed a guy named Alec. He was everything most young girls want cute, funny, older, but he never noticed me. I was just Em's friend.

Six months after she left we were all hanging out at Em and James' house drinking a little, having some fun, nothing major. It never was back then just a few drinks and that's it. Well James had Alec over more and more and the schoolgirl crush got bigger and bigger. One night we started talking and he was so sweet. Told me I was sexy, funny, smart, and that he would like to get to know me better so I gave him my number, but told him not to tell anyone because even back then the guys were protective of us girls.

So we started talking on the phone and sneaking off to see each other. This went on for another six months. He was the first one I ever did anything sexual with but he wanted more. I wasn't ready for it though. He kept telling me it was ok and because I thought I loved him I believed everything he said, but he was pulling away from me. He would always have plans and not call me and I knew that we were ending so I started drinking more. Everyone thought it was from me just dealing with my mom leaving since no one knew about Alec and I wasn't about to tell them so they just let me go. Jake would try to get me to talk, but I would just brush him off saying 'oh I'm just having fun.'

But it got to the point where I was drinking 22 out of 24 hours, passing out, waking up still drunk, and go back to drinking. People telling me about things I did and not know what they were talking about. This went on for two weeks then one night I walked into the party already three sheets to the wind and guess who was there? None other then Alec hanging all over Tanya. It made me sick. I just kept drinking, making me forget about it.

Sometime in the night I felt sick and I walked into the bathroom to find Alec with Tanya on her knees and his dick in her mouth. When he saw me standing there he smiled then said, "Oh yeah Tanya, baby, you're so good at this. It's the best I ever had." I couldn't move. As much as I wanted to I couldn't. Its like I was glued to the floor. He let her finish him off then pushed her away, walked over to me, and kissed me. I tired to push him off but I was far to gone to be able to. When he finally let me go all he said was

"Hey Bella Baby." I couldn't believe how cold hearted he could be, it made me sick. I ran to the toilet and threw up everything I had in me. I felt so weak after words I couldn't move, just laid my head on the cold rim and passed out. I don't know how long I was out when I felt someone grab me by my hair and jerk me down to the floor and roughly pull my legs apart. It hurt like hell and I knew I was going to have bruises, but for the life of me I didn't care.

I didn't even try to fight him off just laid there trying to figure out why this was happening to me. I must have blacked out again; I didn't know what happened to me. All I knew is one minute I was laying on the bathroom floor the next I was in my bed and Jacob told me that he found Alec on top of me and we were naked from the waist down, but he said he didn't think anything happened before he got there. He wanted to tell Charlie, but I begged him to stop because I knew I would get sent to live with Renee, and get everyone in trouble. I couldn't have that so I begged him not to tell. But since then I dream bits and pieces of the night I was raped."

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Edward's hand brush the tears away and felt the wetness on my cheeks, but I still wasn't done. I held my finger up so Edward knew I wasn't finish. I'm going to get all this out. I had to. I can't keep it in any longer. It's weighed me down for far too long now.

"After that I drank still, but tried not to get as drunk. Then one day a guy I knew got me to do coke and I loved it. I had all the energy in the world but coming down drained everything out of me so I got to the point I wouldn't come down for days on end. I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to feel the pain of what happened. I didn't want to know that the hurt look in my friend's eyes was because of me. I just went from one thing to the next. I started doing any drug I could get a hold of. No one knows, but when the coke, the drinking, and then when the other drugs just didn't stop the feeling, the meaning less sex came into play.

I could control it. No one else did it was what I wanted not what someone else took away from me. I had been with two people when I came to Jake with the idea that we could have fun on the side. He agreed and it was just him for the longest time, then he got to the point where he knew something was wrong with me and wanted to talk about it. I didn't, I wanted to forget, and that's where James came into the mix. I didn't have to talk to him. He just knew I had to feel to have someone give me what I felt I needed with no questions asked.

But then you came around and you wanted me. I wanted to prove you couldn't, but then we kissed and it felt so…right. Like that's what I was meant to be doing. What I had been looking for, but then you said it was wrong. I was crushed and I set out to make you want me, but you ignored me. I couldn't figure it out. I have never had a man avoid me, not want to be with me. I have always had what I wanted but you didn't. I thought if I wasn't with anyone else you would, but even then you didn't so I just gave up. But now I'm glad you're my friend. And I hope you don't look at me differently now or I scared you away, but I had to tell you."

I was done. I said it all, got it all out. I fell so much better like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders, but I couldn't believe I told him kind of how I had feelings for him, but I'm glad it did come out. I couldn't bear to look at Edward. I was scared to see what was in his eyes. So I just kept my eyes closed and took nice calming breaths. Then I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him. I couldn't help so I broke down and cried. I showed weakness and I just told him all of me and here he was holding me, comforting me, showing me nothing has changed between us. In that moment I knew my life was forever changed I could finally heal.

When I finally stopped crying Edward lifted my chin up so I was looking him in the eyes and he crashed his lips to mine in a kiss that took my breath away. When he pulled away he laid his forehead to mine and said, "Thank you Bell for letting me see the real you and understanding why I see a lost little girl in your eyes." I can't believe it. I knew all along I was broken but still was around. Just then his bedroom door opened, and there stood a half naked girl looking shocked and pissed.


	7. Chapter 7

**EPOV  
**_**I'm feeling the calm, but is it just the calm before the storm?**_

Bella just told me what made her the way she is. I'm sure none of our friends would ever think that was the reason, hell I didn't even imagine that could be the reason behind it all. I want to find this Alec guy and kill him she is an Angel. Now I know that she was back then too. How could someone hurt her like that? All I can do is hold her. As I pull her to me she finally lets it out. I let her cry it out, letting her know that this changes nothing. I still feel the same for her if not more. I see the real her, the girl that just wanted to have the control of her life back that some sick fuck took from her. But as she cries in my arms I think she just bared herself to me to let me in to her mind just a little could so I would do the same. Could I tell her what makes me the way I am? I think I have to get it out let someone else know the real me just as she did.

When she finally stops crying I lift her chin to look in her eyes and I see in them the broken little girl but I also see love. I don't know what made me do it. Bella's vulnerable right now, but I just had to kiss her. The kiss took my breath away but also made me feel so alive like I didn't even need to breath again as long as I was kissing her. Pulling away I rest my forehead on hers and thanked her for telling me.

Right as I was about tell her more, my door flings open and there stood a half naked Jane looking shocked and all kinds of pissed. I didn't know what to say. What the hell is she doing in here? This is my space. The space that has nothing to do with her. The room I could walk into and not see her anywhere, she's fucking that up now. I was just getting ready to scream anything at her to get her out of here when she said,

"Eddie bear, what's going on in here? And who is that?" while pointing at Bella. How dare she call me that! Bella pushed me away from her looking appalled. That snapped me out of all thoughts. "Jane do not call me that. You have no right to it anymore and why are you standing in my room and not with Felix?" I stated. She should be with him. She left me for him. Did she really think she could just walk back into my life and everything be ok?

"Eddie I love you, I want you back. I can't believe I picked him over you," she cried out. I turn to see Bella running into the bathroom. I can't deal with Jane now. Bella is my only worry. I walk over to Jane push her out of my room shut and locked the door. I hear her banging on it but don't pay any attention while I wait for Bella to come out of the bathroom. Just moments later she comes out back in her wet clothes. She didn't look at me, just headed for the door to leave. I can't believe she's leaving me. I can't let that happen.

I jump between her and the door, blocking her path. "Bells just let me explain," I plead with her. She just glares at me then says, "Nothing to explain Eddie bear. Now get the fuck outta my way." There was so much hate in her voice that it made me take a step back. When I regained myself I grabbed her, but she fought me to let her go, I just want to shake her and get her to listen to me.

After fighting for about five minutes she gives in. "Fine whatever. Say what you have to say so I can leave. Your just like the rest." Is that what she really thought?

"Sit down and I will tell you everything." She walked over to the couch and I tried to sit by her, but she wouldn't let that happen. "Don't even think about sitting anywhere near me," she said so I sat on the bed.

Now where to start. I took a few deep breaths and I could tell Bella was waiting for me to talk. I open and closed my mouth to talk several times but its like every time I tried to talk nothing would come out. I stood up and started pacing. That always calmed me down so I could talk. Without even thinking about it, I started talking.

"Ok, Jane, the girl that was just in here is my ex. She is the only person I ever loved since I was ten years old, as stupid as that sounds. She was my first for everything, the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Anyways, Felix went to the same school as her so I asked him to look out for her since I couldn't. They become really good friends we would all hang out together, and then I noticed they would disappear for a while then come back. They were more touchy feely then just friends should be. One day about a year and a half ago I asked her what was going and of course she said nothing. I didn't believe it so one night when we were all at the movies they left to go to the lobby together and I found them sitting in a couch whispering. I snuck up on them and Felix asked when she was gonna leave me so they could finally really be together. After I heard that I let them know I was standing there by telling them both to go fuck themselves. Then turned into the guy you met that was after one thing and thought I could get anyone I wanted."

There, it was out, wasn't so hard after all. Looking at Bella she still didn't seem pleased.

"Ok Edward, but that doesn't explain why she was half naked in your room. When she's your ex from back home," she didn't sound pissed anymore. I guess I did forget to tell that part.

"Oh well when I got home this morning both her and Felix were sitting here. Guess she got pregnant and my father decided it would be best if they stayed here until the baby is born. How fucked up is that?" I said. I hope she believed what I was saying because it was a pretty messed up story, but I guess that's the story of my life right now. Everything is all fucked up. Looking at her I could tell she was thinking hard she had her bottom lip between her teeth and brows pulled together.

After what seemed like forever she smiled and said, "God that is fucked up that your parents want you to stay in the same house as them." I had to laugh. She said the same thing I had thought earlier.

"Bella did you really think I am like the rest of the guys you've known?" I had to know and was hoping I wasn't. Bella slowly got up off the couch, walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me. "God no Edward. I'm so sorry I said that," she said. I blew out the breath that I didn't know I was holding. She doesn't think of me as she did the rest.

Now I have to try to get her to stay I can't live without this girl in my life and with Felix and Jane here I'm gonna need her even more. "Bella, why are you really leaving?"

"Edward it's just like I told everyone else. They worry about me more then themselves. They also know nothing about the things I've gone through, well Jake and James do, but that's it. I need to get help and a fresh start that's all." Bella said.

"Bella what if I helped you? My dad knows people that you can talk to without anyone knowing and how about instead of running from your friends we tell them so they can help you too. You're going to need a support system to get over this. Why not get that from the people who love you?" I asked because it was all true. Our friends could help her more if they knew what happened. None of us would judge her, and her life long friends worry about her only because they are scared she is going to go back to the drug induced Bella.

"You know what Edward I will think about it and figure out the best course for me, ok?" she asked. I nodded since I knew if I pushed her that will just make her want to leave me.

"Would you like to stay here tonight?" she nodded her head and stepped back, but instead of going to change back into my clothes, she just stripped her clothes off. I knew she was beautiful but in that moment I realized just how much so.

I vowed right than that I would never hurt the angel standing in front of me and that I would be there for her no matter what. She can try to push me away tomorrow after everything but she won't get rid of me that easy. I will push back just as hard.

I crawled into bed, folded the blankets down and waited for her to get in. Once she was all settled, I wrapped the blankets up around her and curled up next to her. I wasn't going to do anything with her. I was going to wait until she was healthier until I tried to even have more than a friendship with her.


	8. an

**Hello all sorry I haven't updated in awhile I'm working on chapter 8 now but I'm looking for a beta to edit all the chapters so far plus and upcoming chapters because as I go back **

**over chapters I've noticed a lot of typos plus things that just don't seem right. So I've been trying to write and reedit plus life's kicking my ass.**

**If anyone wants to be my beta please im me or leave a review thank you so much.**

**Once again sorry for the long delay**

**Also i will delet this a/n as soon as chapter 8 is out **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the long delay i have had this edited for awhile and honestly thought i posted it but i'm new to fanfiction and guess some where i did it wrong.  
Also real life is kicking my ass and i was a bit stuck as to where i wanted this to go.  
Also thank everclever for her beta skills.  
i really am sorry for that hope you guy enjoy it **

**BPOV**

_**They're your 've been through everything with you- the laughs, the understand you, they get 've seen you grow and change, and loved you all the while.**_

When I woke up this morning I felt like a different person; light and airy like the weight of the world was lifted off of me. I rolled over to look at Edward. _He always looks so peaceful when he slept_. I reached up to push the hair off his face carefully so I didn't wake him. After a minute or so I crawled out of bed to get dressed. I needed to get out of here. I told him too much already and I let him know my feelings for him. I didn't want to see the rejection in his eyes when he woke up and realized everything I said to him last night and see just how damaged I am. Once I was dressed I walked out the door as quietly as I could.

Once I was outside I was walking to my car when I noticed the girl from late night, Jane, pacing in the driveway. I didn't want to deal with her right now. Why would she want to be here and put Edward though hell, didn't she know just how much he had loved her and how much she hurt him, that seeing her was not good for him or did she not care? I had seen how he looked last night. She had broken him, made him believe that love wasn't worth anything, that the only way not to get hurt is to just sleep around. Then it hit me: what she did to him is what Alec did to me just in a different way.

She seemed to be lost in thought cause she didn't notice me until I was getting in my car. When she heard my door open she jumped, turned right at me, narrowed her eyes and walked up to me.

"Who the hell are you and why were you in Edward's room? And just so you know, I will get him back. He is _mine_ do you hear me? If you knew what was good for you, you would just stay away. He loves me do you understand," Jane said with her hands on her hips.

I just smiled and let her little rant go, I said nothing and closed my car door, and drove off. She had no right to ask me anything! She left Edward. As I was driving home, I started thinking about what Edward said last night. Could I tell my friends about everything? I mean they love me, but I told Edward yes and they would want every detail of all of it. Things I don't even want to think of. I told the cliff note version not the detailed long version to Edward. Could I really deal with that with out the drugs? I really don't know. Would my friend worry more about me? I couldn't have that. I know someone I could talk to though, that might be able to help me: my cousin Maria. She always knows what to say to help me figure out what I need to do.

I pulled into my drive way, thankful that the cruiser wasn't in the drive, ran in the house, grabbed the phone, and called Maria. After two rings she picked up, "Well hello Bell." She's the only one that called me that.

"Hello Mars bar," I said as she laughed. Since she is 5 years older than me I couldn't say her name, but she told me I could call her that since it was the candy bar she snuck me when dad wasn't looking. After talking for a while just catching up with each others lives she asked,

"So what's wrong with my Bell?" I can't believe she could tell just over the phone.

"Well there is something that happened a few years ago that I'm thinking about telling everyone, but I don't know if I should or just go live with Renee for a while to deal with it," I told her right away. No reason to beat around the bush.

"Bell if it has to do with how you are then you should tell them. Stop running away from it. Face it head on and then deal with it the best you can. Your friends love you. They will be there for you no matter what and so will I, if you tell me. You know everyone has two families: the one we're born into and have no chose over and the one we choose because they are the rocks in our lives and each one has strengths that we lack. You friends are that family for you." I was tearing up listening to her. She was right.

"You right mars, I'll tell them, but after I get back from mom's. You'll be there, right? I can't deal with Renee alone," I said. I could hear the frown in her voice before she answered.

"Sorry I can't be there. I couldn't get outta work."

"Well damn that sucks. I have to deal with Renee alone now, but I guess I better go." She said her goodbyes then we hung up.

Laying face down in my bed I just thought about all the things my family and I have done together. From getting shit-faced drunk to beating the shit outta someone that hurt the other. We have even been around for all the goofy pointless things in each other's lives. They would help me with this problem too. Maybe tomorrow I could see if one of them wants to go with me to see my mom that way I don't have you deal her you alone. For some reason I think all of them will come with me that's how my friends work. It's all or nothing we don't do anything half assed and we're always there for the other.

I spent the rest of my day cleaning house. My phone rang all day and I knew everyone was trying to call me, but I let them all go to voicemail. I wanted to make sure everything was in order for Charlie when I was gone. I made up a weeks worth of food to put in the freezer with directions written on all of them so he didn't have to eat at the diner every night. I always tried to make sure Charlie was taken care of. If it wasn't for me he would eat out every night and probably weigh 500 pounds. _Ok that was an exaggeration, but you get my point._ When I thought the house was good enough it was late afternoon so I figured I would jump in the bath. Nothing like a long hot bath to make you relax. When I'm done here, I'll send a text to all my friends letting them know that I am fine and see if they can go with me to Florida. I sat in the tub until there was no hot water left to refill it, got out wrapped the towel around me, I could hear Charlie downstairs and ESPN was on the TV. _I wonder how long he's been home_. I figured he found the spaghetti on the stove with the note that said 'eat up.'

Once in my room, I grabbed my iphone and sent a text that said "hey guys I'm fine. I was just cleaning all day. Would any of you like to go to Florida with me so I don't have to deal with the wicked witch of the south alone?" Not long after I had I set my phone down and pulled a sleep shirt over my head it went off. Alice must have been sitting on her phone. She is all for going with me. As I texted with her, 6 other 'yes I'll go' came through. See, I knew all my friends would come. I'm sure its just so they can drag me home with them since I still haven't told them I wasn't staying there. After a few more text I went to bed. Hopefully the next two days go by fast.

Monday morning I woke up not even wanting to go to school. I felt like I didn't even get a weekend so I decided on a cute comfy look of just baby blue aero sweatpants, a white v-neck aero shirt with flip flops, and my hair up in a high messy bun. _No reason to get all dressed up, I like being comfortable._ I threw on some mascara and eyeliner and headed downstairs to grab a smoothie for breakfast. I would tell everyone at lunch that I wasn't leaving then tell them about Alec while we were in Florida.

Once I was at school I saw everyone standing around Em's jeep. _God why does it feel like he still goes here?_ I walk over and notice Alice shaking her head.

"Bella really? Couldn't you have at least thrown on jeans? Your at school not in bed." Jake laughed.

"I could have but that wouldn't be any fun. I like being comfortable, plus I feel drained for some reason."

All the guys laughed and Emmett said, "Well you shouldn't have spent all day yesterday fucking then you wouldn't feel drained." Edward and Jake both looked upset.

"Em, just because you and Rose can't go without sex doesn't mean all of us are like that. For your info I spent all day cooking and cleaning, but fucking would have been more fun," with that everyone laughed.

"Oh yeah guys since everyone but James is here I'll tell you I'm not gonna move with Renee. I'm going to stay here." Everyone hugged me and Edward laid a passionate kiss on my lips. It felt so good that I melted into it. When he broke the kiss, I really didn't know what to think. We had only kissed that way once and that was when I was drunk.

When I looked around everyone's jaw was on the ground, but Alice, she was jumping up and down clapping saying, "I knew it! I knew it! Why didn't you tell me you were dating?" I looked at Edward to answer that.

"Alice we are not dating," I blurted out before he even had the chance to answer. Edward turned to me and lifted his eyebrow. I guess he had a different answer. Just then the bell rang. I walked into class with Edward, Alice and Jake then I saw the black BMW pull in. I turned to see Edward's evil look. I still can't believe his parents thought it was a good idea that Jane and Felix stay with them.

Edward and I were texting back and forth about nothing really, just stupid little jokes to pass the time. When I noticed the door open, I looked up and saw nothing but red. There stood Jane in all of her wicked glory. I looked around and saw the only open seat was right in front of me and beside Edward. I was about to get up and sit there when our teacher told her to take the desk. Edward glared and I could only imagine how he was feeling right now. I knew if Alec showed up I would be out of this room as soon as he stepped in. My fists were balled up so tight I thought my skin was going to break. I don't even know the girl but I hate her. Edward is such a sweet, caring, and sexy man. How could she treat him like that? When she sat down I watched her lean forward trying to get Edward to notice her. She looked like a slut, with her shirt so tight and hardly covering any of her, and jeans that I don't see how she breathed in them. I leaned forward grabbed her shoulder, made her sit up, them whispered in her ear,

"Stay the hell away from Edward. He doesn't want a slut like you and if I see you so much as you talking to him or messing with him, I know places they'll never find you."

She looked scared shitless. _Good maybe she got the hint._ Edward gave me a small smile, I just nodded and went back to what I was doing. A second later my phone went off; hitting the read button I had to laugh. It said 'I don't know what you just said, but I've never seen her look so scared.' If only he knew what I said to her and that I really did mean it. No one fucks with my friends and gets away with it. Plus I loved this man, which mean there is nothing I wouldn't do for him or to help him.

**Alice POV**

_**You have to decide what's most important to you:keeping your pride and getting nothing,or taking a risk and maybe, Just maybe have everything.**_

We were all standing by Emmett's Jeep when Bella pulled into the parking lot and I watched how Edward watched her, that boy has it bad for her. I would even say he loves her, and the sad part is I can tell they are meant for each other, I can feel it. I get these feelings that no one bets against. I always know when something is going to happen and I know that Edward and Bella belong together. Edward seems to want to see if they could work, but it looks like Bella is fighting it.

I really wish that I knew what happened to her. She used to be the sweetest most caring person that I knew; she was our angel. Bella was that one that talked us all out of some stupid idea at some time or another because it would get us in trouble. Now she's in with all of our troublesome plans.

I knew we are all going to Florida for her grandma's funeral on Thursday morning, but we all decided to stay at my parent's beach house until Sunday afternoon and fly home. I'm trying to get Bella to see just how much Edward means to her as well as how they are meant for each other.

As Bella was walking over I noticed what she was wearing. She looked like she just crawled out of bed. Shaking my head I asked, "Bella really? Couldn't you have at least thrown on jeans? Your at school not in bed." She never was one to care what people thought.

She answered, "I could have but that wouldn't be any fun, I like being comfortable. Plus I feel drained for some reason." I notice Edward stiffen up the slightest. Most people wouldn't have noticed but I see everything around me. In typical Emmett mode, he made some sexual comment and everyone laughed. I couldn't tell you what because I was to busy watching Bella and Edward.

Then Bella was looking at no one but Edward, like the rest of us weren't standing right next to her, and said, "Oh yeah guys since everyone but James is here, I'll tell you I'm not gonna move with Renee. I'm going to stay here."

We were all happy we couldn't make it without her. She really was the one holding all of us together. She was the glue to our group of friends, and she didn't even know it. Everyone hugged her then I watch with wide eyes as Edward kissed Bella. I started jumping up and down clapping my hands. I was so excited they were finally together. I finally said, "I knew it! I knew it! Why didn't you tell me you were dating?"

Bella looked at Edward like he was going to be the one to answer, when all of a sudden Bella blurted out, "Alice we are not dating." That stilled all my jumping. I don't understand he kissed her. Just then the bell rang and we all headed to class. I noticed a Black BMW pull in to the parking lot and the guy from Friday and some girl got out. I was about to ask Edward who it was, but when I reached the class room he looked like he was about to rip someone apart limb by limb.

For once in my life I had no clue what was going on. Was I losing my touch? Were Bella and Edward not meant for each other? And how did I not feel that trouble was headed our way? I don't know how long I sat there thinking but when I looked up, the girl that got out of the car was at the front of the room introducing herself.

Her name was Jane; she was standing there staring between Edward and Bella like she knew them but she couldn't, could she? I'm sure I would have heard the name at some point if they did know her.

Our teacher told her to take the only empty seat, which happened to be right next to Edward and in front of Bella. _I have a really bad feeling about this._ Bella's fists were balled up so tight that her knuckles were white and Edward glared the whole time Jane walked to the seat. Jane tired smiling at both, but neither even acted like they saw her.

I watched as Jane bent over to pick something out of her bag. When she did she gave Edward a nice look down her shirt. Maybe I was wrong, maybe Bella did know how much she cared for Edward because she grabbed Jane's shoulder, made her sit back up then whispered something in her ear. Jane tensed at whatever Bella had to say then turned to look straight ahead for the rest of class, not chancing a look at anything else. Whatever Bella said must have scared Jane shitless, but knowing Bella, it was probably not pretty. That girl was like a mother bear when it came to her friends.

The next few classes went by quick, but I did figure out that the guy's name was Felix Masen so he must be related to Edward. Some how I really need to figure out what is going on before I lose my mind. I know Edward was an only child so Felix wasn't a brother, but that doesn't explain why Edward looked so pissed to have them here.

At lunch I asked, "Edward did you know the new guy has the same last name as you?" I want to see if he'll give a little bit of info so I could figure this out fast, but he just snapped at me.

"Yes Alice I know he has the same name as me. He's my cousin. Now please don't talk about him again."

At that moment I was a little scared of Edward. He had a look of murder in his eyes, his jaw locked shut, and fists balled.

"Ok E. Sorry I was just wondering." I told him and I wouldn't say anything again.

But Jake was another story. "So what's he doing here man?" I think Jake was just trying to piss Edward off more. Ever since Bella and Jake stopped sleeping together, Jake has thought it was because of Edward and has wanted to fight him.

Edward just said, "He got his slut of a girlfriend pregnant. Esme and my father said they could stay with us." Bella was rubbing his back and he instantly relaxed under her touch.

"Bella how do you feel about staying at my parent's beach house until Sunday?" I asked. I knew she would be up for it, I just wanted to cut some of the tense in the air.

She smiled. "Yeah Ali, that would be great. I think we could all use some time off."

After that we all talked about what we wanted to do while we were there. We all decided we would go to adventure landing, club Paris, Ruth's Chris steak house, lay on the beach, and whatever catches our eye while we are there.

Lets just hope we can make it through this week without any trouble.

**EPOV**

_**It hurts when those who are supposed to love you, hurt there's actually nothing you can do about it, because blood is blood,But it hurts even more when those you choose to love hurt you,for that means you're not good at choosing either**__._

Jane is here in my first class of the day. Why does she have to be here? Oh that's right, Felix got her pregnant. I watched as she made her way to the only free seat, which was beside me. Tomorrow I will have to make sure that there are no seats next to me. I glared at her the whole way, I knew her game, and she has always been the same way. She uses her body to get what she wants. She leaned over to get in her bag and I knew I would be able to see down her shirt. She knew that I loved her body when we were together and she was probably hoping it was still my weakness. I'll admit it, I looked, I'm a man what can I say, but she did nothing for me. All I saw was how Bella was so much better. Just as I thought it Bella grabbed Jane, made her sit up, and whispered something in her ear. Jane went stiff then pale. I really wonder what Bella could have said to Jane. Jane is normally fearless. She was never scared of any girl. Whatever was said must have been bad, but I wouldn't expect any less of Bella. I've learned she is not one to fuck with.

I smile a little and nodded her way then sent her a text saying, "I don't know what you just said, but I've never seen her look so scared. " Bella laughed then nodded. She must have wanted Jane to stay the hell away from me and for that I'm thankfully. I honestly think Bella likes me, but is just scared to get hurt again. I just wish she would give me the chance to show her that I would never hurt her.

The rest of the day was shit. Everyone was talking about Felix and Jane. I had people asking who they were since Felix and I have the same last name. I just told everyone that I had no clue who they were. I didn't want to tell them Felix was my cousin; to me he was dead, no longer my family.

At lunch Alice started in about who he was and I snapped at her, then felt really bad about it. It's not her fault that she was wondering just like everyone else at school. Then Jake, that fuck-face, wanted to push the issue. I was about ready to punch his teeth down his throat when Bella started rubbing my back. It instantly relaxed me and I was thankful. Alice changed the subject about all of us going to Florida. I knew Bella would be a wreck on Thursday morning when we went to the funeral but I would be right by her side. We had planned to go clubbing, out to dinner, hang out at the beach, and just anything that we wanted to do. We didn't have to worry about parents or adults for that matter. It was just the eight of us doing as we please.

I'm hoping to make Bella realize that I care about her and want to give us a shot to see how it works. I know that it will be hard for both of us, but I really feel its worth the work it will take. I honestly love her. I thought I loved Jane but I've realized that I didn't love her. I was comfortable with her and I settled for what was normal for me. Bella was everything to me. She is smart, Beautiful, caring, everything that I could ever ask for in a woman. She makes me want to be a better person and helps me believe that love is real and doesn't just cause pain.

The rest of the day was a blur. I was too busy making my plans on how to make Bella take the leap I'm trying to get her to take. I plan on taking her to a nice restaurant and just laying all my cards on the table because that's the only why I can think of to get her to realize I like her. She is such a smart girl but so blind when it comes to the guys around her.

**JanePOV**

I _will_ have him. That little slut Bella will not stop me. I have more time to get what I want. I live in his house; we have to be around each other. I will make him realize that he still loves me. I know he does. Felix is such an ass. I can't believe I gave Edward up for him. With Edward, at least his family has money. I would be taking care of Felix because his family is broke. He couldn't even afford to take me to McDonalds for a dollar cheeseburger, what was I thinking? I just have to keep up the appearance of being pregnant so that Esme will feel bad for me, then before anyone knows what hit them I will really be pregnant, but by Edward so that he has to be with me. Edward would never turn his back on me and our baby.

I planned it out so well. I was on the shot, but never told Felix. One night we forgot to use a condom or at least he thinks we forgot. He was so drunk he didn't even remember, which helped me out so much, then a month later my friend took a pregnancy test because she thought she was pregnant and what do you know she was. Felix saw it and got all excited that we were having a baby so I let him believe it. Then when people started treating me like shit I asked if we could come to Forks.

I didn't think I would hit the roadblock that is Bella. She told me she had places to hide my body if I mess with Edward and I really think she could do it. I did my research. I know about all of Edward's friends here. Bella's dad is the chef of police, but has no control over her, Emmett and James live alone for what reason I don't know, Jake and James are in love with Bella and both had been sleeping with her for awhile, Alice and Jasper have been together forever as well as Emmett and Rosalie, and that all three girls have each others backs no matter what. Someone fucks with one they fuck with them all. The guys look out for the girls and they all have been friends since they were born.

I know that all I have to do is get Edward alone and seduce him. He could never turn down sex with me. I heard a rumor that after he left me that he slept with fifty percent of the girls in his school. Sex is the way to get him and then he will be mine. I can leave Felix high and dry to live my life the way I should have from the start. I will have Edward and there is nothing that they can do to stop me.

It's the perfect plan. I will have the man that loves me and can take care of me, will marry me when he finds out that I am pregnant with his child, and then when I'm bored with him again, I will take him for everything he has. I just have to stick it out until he's 21 and gets his trust fund. Then move on to bigger and better places with all his money.

**Ok there we have it chapter 9 once again i am really sorry for the delay please leave a review and tell me what you think.  
I am working on chapter 10 as you read. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it's been so long since i wrote anything i just couldn't figure out where i wanted this to go Enjoy and reveiw **

**BPOV**

_**I have learned that no matter how good a friend they are,  
**__**Your going to hurt them every once in a while  
**__**And you must hope they forgive you for that.**_

Monday and Tuesday went by too fast for my liking. By the time I knew it, it was Wednesday and everyone was boarding the plane for the 8 hour ride to Jacksonville. I was nervous as all hell. I haven't really seen Renee since she left and I really can't stand what she did to Charlie and me.

Edward must have thought I was scared of flying cause he sat there holding my hand the whole time. I felt safe even if I wasn't scared and was just freaking out about being around Renee for so long. Even when I did come stay the month in the summer, she would keep my money coming. I didn't really see her that much during my stay. I had made friends with a teammate of Phil's, his son Tony. We spent most of the time together; it was kind of a deal like Jake and me. We would have fun while I was there and text each other once in awhile when I was back home. I think that's what worried me more then seeing my mom. I haven't been with anyone in three months cause I was always with Edward and did right for my boys (James and Jacob) as I have always called them. What would Tony think if I showed up with pretty much all the guys I've been with as well as all my great friends? Tony knows about all my friends as well as who I've been with, but my friends know nothing about him other than that our parents forced us to go out the first time I came down here.

I hope the guys don't go all 'big brother' on him. That's what was nice about him, they didn't get the chance to scare him off or tell him I didn't always act this way. I could just have fun partying, do whatever I wanted without having them worry over me. I know it all sounds selfish of me, but it was nice for one month, every summer, to drink as much as I wanted, do a few lines of coke, or get as high as I wanted to without having to hide it all from them.

I must have fallen asleep cause I felt someone shake me lightly. I opened my eyes just a little to see that it was Jake shaking me.

"Bells we're here. Edward told me to wake you while he got your bags since I wouldn't get them myself. I like my balls where they are," he said laughing a little.

I jumped up after Jake told me. I didn't want Edward to do things for me. It made me feel helpless and I'm sure that's why Jake wouldn't do it. I have never liked anyone babying me. All the boys have gotten yelled at many times over it because, for some reason they think us girls can't do it for ourselves. Alice and Rose enjoy it, but not me.

Making my way to where everyone was standing, I noticed that Jasper and Emmett were shaking their heads. I glared at them then at Edward. Stepping right in front of him, I ripped my bags from his hand then walked away while he looked confused as fuck.

"I told you just to let her get them herself," I heard Em say and everyone agreed.

I got to the doors just as I heard my name being called, but it surely wasn't who I thought it was going to be. Instead of Renee or Phil picking us up, it was Tony. I couldn't help myself; I ran over to him jumped in his arms and hugged him for dear life. Why I did it, I'm not sure.

"Who the hell is that?" I heard Emmett's booming voice.

"Put her down now," I heard from Edward next.

Tony put me down and I looked at everyone. They all looked confused and the boys looked ready to kill. I have to make this right and fast.

"Guy this is Tony and Tony this is--," but Tony cut me off with his hand pointing to each of my friends and naming them until he got to Edward. He looked to me for help. I hadn't told him about Edward and once again not sure why. I'd talked to him a few times since Edward moved to Forks. I told Tony who he was, but my friends still didn't look happy so I quickly told them Tony was the guy I went out with for Renee and then they all knew who he was.

We all made it out to the SUV while all the guys were shooting question after question at Tony. How he knew me, how close we were and last but not least, leave it to Emmett to ask if we ever slept together. Tony was doing good keeping the answers short and sweet, but then when he got asked that he just didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth then shut it several times. He honestly looked like a fish out of water and if it would have been any other time, I would have been laughing my ass off, but I could see all the guys staring at him waiting for the answer and getting more pissed as the seconds went by. It was not good with four good size men staring down this one guy that was only 5'8 and maybe 150 lbs. I stepped between them since we were all just standing there. I didn't know what I would say if I told them the truth, Big brothers would most definitely come out and like I said, I really didn't want that to happen. Just as I was about to say something, Em decided to slap Tony on his back and laugh, which got everyone else laughing and the tension broke.

"Damn dude you looked like a fish," Em said as he climbed in the car.

Everyone else piled in and we were off so at least for now that was over. For some reason I didn't think it was over for good, but I'll handle it when the time came.

When we pulled up the Renee's house, she was already standing at the door waiting on us. She knew everyone from when she was still in Forks, but this was the first time she had seen any of them since she left. She come running up and grabbed everyone in a hug, crying about how it's been too long and they should have come sooner. I just rolled my eyes at her. She was never thE parent that all the kids liked, she was just another parent to set rules and then break them when she felt fit. With Alice being the charmer that she was, she told her yes it has been too long and they all are sorry for that. Renee was pleased and pushed us all into the house where Phil was waiting. Most of the time I wanted to punch him when I saw him. I guess I really should talk to them about knowing that since they were together before she left us.

Luckily we didn't have to stay there long. After an hour everyone was ready to get to the beach house for peace and quite, so Tony dropped us off. I didn't ask him to stay which I'm sure he wanted, but that's just not my life anymore. I love Edward and I'm faithful to him even if we aren't together.

Where am I am? How much have I had to drink? That's all I could think.

We decide it would be a good idea to go out to a local bar. Yes I know none of us are old enough to be in a bar, but when all us girls are together dressed to go out and have fun, bartenders are too busy looking at our chest to look at our I.D. so that's just what we did; Dress to kill.

Me, in every guys wet dream come true, a short pink plaid skirt, white corset that made it so I couldn't breathe and my tits about to fall out, and fuck me black Mary Jane high heels. Rose in a plain black short skirt, a tight red corset that was cut right between her breast with a thin strap holding it, and red fuck me heels, and Alice in a short polka dot dress that is white with pink dots. It just barely covered her ass and just had a tie in the middle of her back then around her neck, and all put together with white knee high boots. The guys were all in nice pants and shirts unbuttoned with wife beaters under them. We all looked good.

Now I have no clue where I was. I'm sure I'm still at the bar because it's loud and smoky, with bodies pressed together everywhere. We all have been drinking steady all night. For me, Jack on the rocks and for everybody else, cherry bombs. I'm not really sure how many I've had, but I can't believe I'm still standing in these shoes. Wait. Where are my shoes and why am I upside down? Next thing I know I'm in the water. When I look up, Edward is standing there laughing at me. So that fucker just threw me in the ocean. God does he look good.

I'm not sure if it's the drinks or that the moment seems good, but I walk up to him grab the front of his shirt and kiss him. To my surprise he kisses my back, but it has to be how much he has had to drink, he only likes me as a friend. He picks me up and I quickly wrap my legs around him. I'm going to enjoy this moment for as long as I can. No reason to feel bad about it if he regrets it in the morning, I'll blame it on the alcohol. Next thing I know, we're lying on the beach with Edward hovering above me with his hands all over me. Everywhere he touched felt like it was on fire. He kept telling my how much he wanted me and for now I would believe it. He slowly pulled my lace boy shorts down my legs, while I pulled his pants down, when suddenly he stopped me. It really didn't shock me. I was waiting for him to realize what he was doing and that he didn't want it, but I was hoping that he wouldn't, that I could have this night with him to show him I wanted him and loved him. But he stood me up threw me over his shoulder again and started towards the house.

"Bella I'm not having you for the first time on a beach," Edward told me

He said first time like there will be more after this night. I want to hope, but it'll hurt too much when this is over so I just nodded. When he got to the house he threw me on the bed, unzips his pants and comes back between my legs. I can feel how hard he is and I can feel my wetness running down my legs then he slides in with ease.

When I woke up the next morning my first thought is of my pounding head the next is that I'm naked in bed. _Oh shit what did I do? _Sitting up slowly I wrap the sheet around me and look to my left. No one is there, but I can tell someone was. I look around the room for any clues when it hits me. I shared a room with Edward. I hear the shower running and it all comes back to me. Edward throwing me in the ocean, me kissing Edward and Edward fucking me. Why did I let this happen? How did I let myself get so out of control? Edward doesn't want me. I stumble out of bed and throw on a tank top and sport style shorts with flip-flops. I pick up my cell phone and leave the room. I can't face him knowing that it was a mistake. I quietly sneak out the sliding glass door. Dialing the one person that I know won't ask any questions. I tell them where I am at and for him to come get me. I hang up knowing I've got about a half an hour before they show up. I wonder up the beach to the spot I told them to pick me up and just zone out.

The honking of the horn pulls me out of the zone I was in. I'm numb, I'm shutting down, and I'm not thinking about what happened. I'm going to have to, but not right now. I jump in the car, turn to Tony and ask if he's got any coke. When he hands it to me I do a quick line and tell him to drive to his house. I have clothes there that I can change into so I'm presentable for the viewing today.

I would have to face everyone today. I just want to crawl in a hole and deal with nothing, but I have to be there for grams. She'll be disappointed that I'm messed up, but happy I'm there for her today. I'll be the one to tell everyone to celebrate her life not morn her death. She would want us to think of the good not the bad and live our lives to the fullest.

Tony doesn't ask me anything hell we don't even talk. I shower and change then we head to the church. Renee is there crying. I want to laugh, I want to dance, but mostly, I don't want to cry. I hug her and she doesn't want to let go. When I look behind her I see all my friends standing there, looking like they want to rip me limb from limb. I hurt them again, but I didn't mean to. When I finally pull away from Renee, Tony is there pushing me toward the seats. I lock eyes with Edward, but what I saw wasn't at all what I thought it would be, he looked like he was going to kill Tony.

Why does it have to be like this?

**There ya go the next chapter hope you enjoyed and please review it'll make me write faster **


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